Need advice: Worst separation anxiety EVER!

[chriscree]

Is she allowed to bring a lovey to daycare. Maybe something that smells like you she can cling to. She is probably used to being held and *doesn't get as much as she did from her aunt.


*disclaimer: I am not saying daycare is bad. I was a director of one for 5 years but there is at least a 4:1 ratio that she probably didn't have before.
I just don't want to start the debate of homecare/daycare.

[Mom2my3sons]

Get an Asian baby carrier and put her on your back while you do household chores.

Putting her in the crib and leaving her alone will only make things worse. She's scared of you leaving and you are proving her fears true. The person she was attached to during the days, your sister, is gone. She doesn't understand what happened, she just knows what she was attached to is gone and she's afraid it's going to happen to you too. Keep her with you as much as possible to let her know you aren't going anywhere.

Is there any possibility you can quit your job, work from home or even go part-time?

[Abigail's_Mommy]

No advice here, just hugs! My 16 month old DD does the same thing and I SAH. I can't even pee by myself even when DH is home.

[darmomof2]

my dd was awful the first time she went to daycare i dropped her off at 7am and the babsitter was calling me by 7:45 to come and get her i called my husband and he went and sat with her till i came to get her. we had to do that with her for 2wks and then she was fine for the 2 yrs that she went there. and then we started a new sitter and she cried every day and i just chalked it up to a change and then i had dd #2 and when they went back to the sitter after leave she cried still i thought nothing of it this went on for 2 wks and then i came early and my baby was crying and i could not calm her down, i tooke her cloths off her thinking that she was hot and i found brusing all over her body and i flipped out on the baby sitter and her husband they had not explanation for me. i called the cops and the called cps and they did and investagation. ( so the moral is trust your gut if it feels wrong it is) and i learend the hard way...

[nateNnatsmommy]

Thanks everyone!

[kval07]

We kind of have this situation, only backwards, with DFs 4yo son. His mother talks in his ear and tells him mean things about DF and I. But let's not go there...

When DF picks him up from daycare, he throws a fit/screams/cries/takes off his seatbelt in the car because he doesn't want to come over. He doesn't like me. He doesn't like dad. He wants mom. Blah blah blah. This kid was crying for whole weekends straight with us. (The whole baby mama drama situation here has come pretty close to ending it for us, that's how completely stressful it was/is.)

We talked to the daycare lady about it and she has been a wealth of helpful information. We were giving him attention, telling him to quit crying, he will see his mom in a few hours, etc, etc. She told us to completely and utterly ignore him, unless he is doing something unsafe. Let me tell you, it didn't stop him from crying and throwing his fits, BUT they did shorten by huge amounts. After about 5-10 minutes he will quit. Giving attention when they are doing something wrong (or something you don't want them to do) is still attention in their mind. We leave the room, go on the computer, watch tv, but secretly keep an eye on him.

Maybe you could try that? I don't know if it would work in your situation, but if you are feeling anything like I have felt with DFs child, you will try anything and everything, lol. Never let 'em see you sweat! I know, I know, easier said than done. Good luck.

[stitch1769]

I, dont want to alarm you but I kind of agree w/ a previous post, can you honestly say you know what is going on in your child's daycare? i am a sahm, but, i do work occassionally in a daycare on an as needed basis and leave me tell you what i seen there blew my mind ! the parents see one thing but alot happens that isnt seen and i have spoke to others that say what i seen is common in daycares. crying is your baby's only means of communicating at this age and she knows that You will respond to her cries. maybe she isnt crying all day at daycare because even young ones learn that it doesnt matter how long you cry, no one is going to do anything so why bother! on the other hand it can just be seperation anxiety or a stage she is going through Just FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS either way and you will be ok, I would just recommend you stopping by UNANNOUNCED a few times at different intervals, and if you cant do so have a friend stop by on the pretense of looking for a daycare for her child and see what they think! sometimes all you need is a pair of fresh eyes and ears and it is ok to let her cry so you can get thing done.
GOOD LUCK

stitch1769

[nateNnatsmommy]

oh no it's a very good daycare my son has gone to for years. i work very close and do pop in from time to time.