At what age did you begin potty training?

[mkmattingly]

First, everyone's free to do what they wish, I'm not passing judgement on anyone, but I believe strongly in the ways we trained our child. I know it's a sensitive issue for people and many get very defensive about it. Ultimately, I don't have issue with what anyone does with their child, I'm just relaying what worked for us.

We took the methods that John Rosemond advocates, which is to have your child trained by 2 years. We didn't use rewards, we didn't wait for our child to be "ready" (whatever that means), we made our child responsible for his own actions.

Rosemond basically advocates what was done by our parents and grandparents, and was always successful then. I think he quotes something like 90% of children were potty trained by age 2 prior to the 1950s. That's only changed now because Pampers and all the rest have advocated "pull-ups," which is just another name for diapers.

It's referred to as "naked and $75" because he advocates stripping the child down naked so they learn when they are going to go and $75 to clean up the occasional mess via a carpet cleaner. It works, though it's contrarian to what most people are willing to do. It believe in it and it's been my experiene that anyone that says it didn't work for their child either a) didn't make their child responsible for their own actions or b) didn't stick with it long enough.

We've trained our oldest 2 children that way, took a couple weeks, and we'll train our daughter next July, whether she shows "readiness" signs or not.

Here's a link to one of his articles if anyone's interested: http://www.contracostatimes.com/rela...ps/ci_10718308

[shannondw1]

I have to agree with MK . What is this "readiness"; they're 2?! I started my DD right around 1.5 and thought that was late. My mother had all of us potty-trained right around 1 and gave me the analogy of "I was too lazy to change diapers". And that about summed it up for me. I took a different turn on it by my laziness to not train her I as hindering her progress, by me not pushing her I was not being a good teacher.

There's too much "yeah for you" even in schools now "lets not offend them by giving them a grade below a C" EXCUSE ME? Offend away if they are not pushing themselves then the parents need to step in and stop the congratulation party for getting a C. You start giving you 2 year old the choice if HE/SHE is ready to use a toilet are you going to give them the same choice for when it’s time to start reading, writing, math? What about if they are not ready to pay attention in school they have no choice to go to school there should be no choice for potty training.

I see to many undisciplined children out there they are unruly and the parents just stand by idly “we’re letting him/her make choices” WELL no. I’m the parent I make the rules. Just the other day I had a parent say to me when we invited them down for a little get together “you really want MY boys there”. I was shocked, thinking why are you not disciplining them if you know they are that rowdy? My DD is 11 now very well behaved not perfect but I always get compliments on her behavior at others homes.

Don’t get me wrong she can make her own choices, like, I let her make the choice of which instrument, but I make her stick with that choice for the year, because if she doesn’t if affects the entire band group and that’s not right. When she makes a choice there is always a consequence whether good or bad. But I do not let her make choices that should not be a choice, like doing homework!

Sorry this is just my opinion and I’m well aware that not all the population (very little anymore) feel the same and I DO judge I think it’s sad to many kids out there do not know what failing is because we refuse to let them. If you don’t fail how do you know to try, try again?!

If you can potty train your child now think of all the money you’ll save not having to buy diapers…and the waste you’ll be saving our landfills.

Stepping down now! and taking a...

[jkelstaten]

DD#1 was trained at 3years. On her birthday I told her that she was a big girl now and she needed to wear panties. She has hardly had any accidents.

DD#2 was a little more stubborn because I was pregnant and the baby came just after her 3rd birthday. So she was about 3 years and 3 months when she decided it was time.

[jkelstaten]

Originally Posted by shannondw1 I have to agree with MK . What is this "readiness"; they're 2?! I started my DD right around 1.5 and thought that was late. My mother had all of us potty-trained right around 1 and gave me the analogy of "I was too lazy to change diapers". And that about summed it up for me. I took a different turn on it by my laziness to not train her I as hindering her progress, by me not pushing her I was not being a good teacher. There's too much "yeah for you" even in schools now "lets not offend them by giving them a grade below a C" EXCUSE ME? Offend away if they are not pushing themselves then the parents need to step in and stop the congratulation party for getting a C. You start giving you 2 year old the choice if HE/SHE is ready to use a toilet are you going to give them the same choice for when it’s time to start reading, writing, math? What about if they are not ready to pay attention in school they have no choice to go to school there should be no choice for potty training. I see to many undisciplined children out there they are unruly and the parents just stand by idly “we’re letting him/her make choices” WELL no. I’m the parent I make the rules. Just the other day I had a parent say to me when we invited them down for a little get together “you really want MY boys there”. I was shocked, thinking why are you not disciplining them if you know they are that rowdy? My DD is 11 now very well behaved not perfect but I always get compliments on her behavior at others homes. Don’t get me wrong she can make her own choices, like, I let her make the choice of which instrument, but I make her stick with that choice for the year, because if she doesn’t if affects the entire band group and that’s not right. When she makes a choice there is always a consequence whether good or bad. But I do not let her make choices that should not be a choice, like doing homework! Sorry this is just my opinion and I’m well aware that not all the population (very little anymore) feel the same and I DO judge I think it’s sad to many kids out there do not know what failing is because we refuse to let them. If you don’t fail how do you know to try, try again?! If you can potty train your child now think of all the money you’ll save not having to buy diapers…and the waste you’ll be saving our landfills. Stepping down now! and taking a...

Just wanted to respond to this. Potty training my children has NOTHING to do with laziness on mine or their part and letting them wait a while is no indication that they will fail in life. That is absurd. I have a 5 year old who is homeschooled and doing "end of the year" 1st grade work. She is definitely not failing simply because she didn't potty train until she was 3. And my 4 year old is already reading and knows her numbers beyond 20. That's kindergarten level. So, no failing for her either.

We experienced major life changes when my kids were 2 years old (major international move to a 3rd world country and back again) and there were far more important things to worry about than if I had hit someone else's training milestone or not.

Issues like this are a major peeve of mine because when people start passing judgements like that, it creates enmity between mothers rather than the bond and support that there should be. It's why moms are afraid to ask for help and always feel like they have to be perfect. I had people around me like that when I was a new mom and even until my 2nd daughter was a year old. I suffered a year with PPD because I was too afraid that people were going to pass judgement on me. Thankfully, I was removed from that judgemental situation and was able to realize that I don't have to do everything "perfect" to be a good, loving mom.

[BeckyP]

Ds learned shortly after 3 when he was ready. I think to many parents push to hard and it ends up taking longer with lots of accidents.

[KarenStep]

I trained my first son at age 2 and 9 months, we had been practicing with him (and not forcing him) for a few months, and had him in pullups for months, but we just decided one weekend to do it and he hardly had any accidents. It took less than a week and he was fully trained.

My second son is just now 2 and a half and we are working on training now. He loves to pull up and down his pants, and sit on the potty, but just a few days ago actually went on it for the first time. He would sit on it 5-6 times a day, but had never gone. So, he's ready and we'll be getting him out of diapers soon.

I do agree that many people force their children before they are ready. I babysit 2 girls with birthdays a month apart, and both of them were trained within the last year. The first girl started training much earlier than the second (about 6 months earlier) and she had a very difficuly time - multiple accidents everyday and did not have the strength/coordination to pull her clothing up and down. She struggled a lot - she didn't have the awareness to stop playing when she had to go potty. I put her on every 2 hours but still had lots of accidents. The second girl was completely opposite. One day she just decided she was going to go on the potty and never looked back. I never had an accident from her.

So, I do believe each child is different and you do have to look at their development. It's not laziness, it's readiness.

[davbrandy]

My first dd wanted absolutely nothing to do with potty training until she was a little past her 3rd birthday. All of a sudden one day, literally she decided she was ready.
With my 2nd dd, her baby sitter called me one night and told me that she was going to start training a little boy she also sat for and would it be alright for her to train dd. I said you can try, she was all of 18 months at the time. She has never had an accident or wet the bed and I was not a believer of pull ups, they are glorified diapers.
Now with our 3rd dd, and last I might add, she was interested in potty training at 18 months, same as 2nd dd. She was very easy to train, very little accidents and dry at night. However that same dd, now 4, is so into everything that she is doing that she is having regular accidents and wetting the bed. We have recently moved and I am somewhat contributing the move to her regression.
I strongly suggest getting one of the potty seats that attaches to the regular toilet, so they are not scared of the flushing and the size when they grow out of the little potty. The ones we had for dd2 & 3 had steps for them to get on the toilet themselves, I really believe it helped. Now if only we could get her past this regression.


ETA: I do believe that a child will only be potty trained when THEY are ready, not when the PARENTS are ready.

[talk2ham.1]

My son is not quite 2.5 and has been potty trained since age 2. He still misses sometimes. I still have him in Pull Ups and I don't have high expectations for him. But it sure has helped out with diaper bills in the long run. We started him a 17 months and he picked up right away. I have not been to demanding about it and I didn't really expect him to do so well. So, when he does do really well, I can simply be happy with him and not stressed out that he be like that all the time. He has seemed to enjoy the process and it hasn't been to overwhelming for me either. I plan to do the same with my next children.

[StephKB]

Well my mom was of the older generation - she says my oldest sis was trained between 18 & 24 months when she stayed with my aunt (while my next sis was being born)...but then she always adds, well *I* was trained to take her to the toilet often enough. (My sister is 42).

I do get what you're saying about giving the kids too much power & not letting them learn about failure - I just don't think potty training is one of the battles I want to start - nor is it an age where I think it's important to learn those things yet. Discipline, YES. My boys are very well behaved and I get comments on that all the time. In fact I often wonder if I'm too strict when we're around my family, who are in general much more lax with their kids - but when my kids can stand in line for 1.5 hours to vote, get nothing but compliments AND impress their mommy & daddy with their behavior I'm sure I must be doing something right.

Add to that my oldest was a preemie. He saw an endocrinologist when he was just over 3 years old, and although we'd been trying to potty train him without luck even with JUST peeing, we weren't making progress. The doc & nurse both told us that he might not be physically ready. Each child hits different milestones at different times and I truly belive that at 18-24 months (even up to 36 for my oldest) he was physically not capable of holding his urine all the time. Three months later he was staying dry during hte day - and we attribute this partly to a huge growth & development spurt AND being exposed daily to other children who were using the potty. At 3 he was old enough to start noticing differences and he wanted to be like the other kids...sometimes peer pressure is a GOOD thing! LOL

[newatthis]

I was thinking of asking this question the other day b/c one of my friends is pt her dd (14 months)! Don't you think that is wayyyyyyy early? I thought it was. I don't plan to try until around 2 yrs. The other mom will try and make me feel like I'm not doing the right thing- she has already said ___ (her dd) will be pt before ---(my dd). She always is pushing her dd to do the same things as mine- and mine is 4 months older. Her dd starting walking a month before mine- and you should have heard her- "_(my dd)_ do you need my dd to teach you how to walk?" Every time we got around them- no joke!