Any Advice?!?

[Doryjane]

Hello everyone, I need some serious advice. I am 25, and have two children, my son will be 4 in March, and my daughter turned 2 last November. They get up every morning between 3-5am!!! It doesnt matter if I put them to bed at 12 midnight, its like clockwork. Im exhausted, plus I go to school, and study time is very scarse, by the time they go to bed, Im too tired to even pick up a book. I have no clue what to do. Ive talked to their dr and seen if this is "normal" expecially for the almost 4yr old, he shruggs his shoulders and says, "They will out grow it" WHEN?!? They act as if their on a sugar-high 24/7, my little girl still has "mommy" issues where she follows me around all the time. Im not complaining because I know I will miss this later on, but I just need a break from waking up way before its time to!! And yes, if one is up, or just waking up, the other gets woke up.

Any advice will be greatly appriciated as I really do need some sleep!

[cpaige]

Are they crying when they get up? Are they in the same room and one is waking the other one?

[IntoTheMystic]

Wow, this is a tough one, and you are in for a battle. Think of it as sleep training. You don't let them pick their nighttime bedtime, don't let them pick their morning time either. They need the sleep, and you need time to yourself. Set a time. If they get it up before that, put them back in bed. Tell them it's still the middle of the night (which it is). 1x for potty and drink, and that's it. no food. no tv. no toys. keep it very boring. Just be matter of fact about it. And be ready for some tears. Good luck!

[Luv Savings]

What's their napping schedule during the day.?

[Doryjane]

Their in seperate rooms, my daughter is still in my room, but its HUGE, so my son walks in and says "mommy its time to get up" and then she wakes up, or she cries, and then he wakes up, its like they have a good sence of hearing! My son is in pre-school, so I know hes tired when school starts 4 hours later after he wakes up! My husband does help, but they want me constantly- (long story short, we divorced, and he only seen them on the weekend, so they spent alot of time with me) But were back together, just call him my husband LOL. Its me for bath time, bed time, wake up time, breakfast, lunch, and supper time! I am so lost! I never imagined it to get this bad! And my kids have attitudes! I DO believe in punishments, I tell them to go back to bed, they throw mad fits, throw toys, ect... I think Nanny 911 may like my senerio!! Ive also tried the "boring" time, but they jump on the couch, run around giggling/yelling/fighting. So............ LOL

But on a good note, they DO go to bed when I tell them to

[Doryjane]

What's their napping schedule during the day.?

Since my school schedule changed on me, I am an hour away, so I leave around 12noon, and get home about 3:30, so hubbs lays my little girl down when I leave, and my son gets off the bus about 11:30, and he hardly ever gets a nap, he did fall asleep on the couch yesterday, but she usually sleeps for a good 2 hours.

[kschick96]

I have a similar problem-my LO is a very early riser and no matter what time you put him to bed, he is up around 4:30. I have finally got him to learn to lay quietly until it's time to get up. I went into his room over and over and told him it was still time to be sleeping. He now lays quietly in his room most days until 5:30 and I don't have to go in any more to remind him it's still time to be quiet. I am ok with 5:30, because that is what time DH is getting up to get ready for work and I'm usually ready to be up then too.

As he gets older, and moves to a big boy bed, I am planning to get a night light on a timer and he has to stay in his room until the night light goes off. Maybe that coud work for your LO?

Hang in there-I know how much this sucks-we still go through periods of time where he is up at 4am and is up for the day. It's even worse when we travel. Once I finally accepted that I had a VERY early bird, it became much easier for me to handle. Good luck!

[Doryjane]

I have a similar problem-my LO is a very early riser and no matter what time you put him to bed, he is up around 4:30. I have finally got him to learn to lay quietly until it's time to get up. I went into his room over and over and told him it was still time to be sleeping. He now lays quietly in his room most days until 5:30 and I don't have to go in any more to remind him it's still time to be quiet. I am ok with 5:30, because that is what time DH is getting up to get ready for work and I'm usually ready to be up then too.

As he gets older, and moves to a big boy bed, I am planning to get a night light on a timer and he has to stay in his room until the night light goes off. Maybe that coud work for your LO?

Hang in there-I know how much this sucks-we still go through periods of time where he is up at 4am and is up for the day. It's even worse when we travel. Once I finally accepted that I had a VERY early bird, it became much easier for me to handle. Good luck!

Oh yeah, Ive tried the night light thing, but they get up and play with it!! So I took that out incase they electricute themselves, cuz trust me, if there is a will there is a way with these two. They dont listen to ANYONE during the day! Tell them "NO" they say "I can if I want!!"

[clippyclippy]

2 of my kids were frequent night wakers. One was wetting her bed several times a week until she was around 7- when she stopped doing that, waking was no longer a problem.
My ds on the other hand, was a terrible sleeper. He'd walk into my room (this was when he was about your son's age) and just stand there. I'm such a light sleeper, I'd sense him standing there- he didn't have to say anything!
He'd want to crawl in bed with me, which would really mess my sleep up, but I was so tired I'd let him anyway.
Finally I got smart and told him he could always come to my room, but he couldn't get in bed with me. I put a sleeping bag on the floor and that was good enough for him, just to be near me.
He continued plopping down next to my bed for a year or so and then gradually stopped coming in.
There were no tears, no long drawn out sleep training (as opposed to when he was less than 2 - but that's another story!
It worked for us - but I know each situation is different. Mainly your ds needs to know he can't wake anyone at night. It might help in your case if he just doesn't like being alone in his room when he wakes up.
HTH!

(oh, and by the way - it does pass. With 3 teens now, 15-19, they never wake up unless they have to! Getting them to go to bed is another thing!)

[3timesoccermom]

You're right, some changes need to be made.

It sounds like some of the problem would be eliminated if you could get your son to stop coming to your room. Is there any type of noise occurring in your neighborhood that may be waking him? A neighbor starting their vehicle at that time and revving the motor (first example I use because that's what my neighbor does, lol) or something? If so, maybe some type of white noise in his room would help minimize outside sounds. Sart insisting he find something quiet to do until a certain time after he wakes. Maybe daylight, or an alarm or something.

Hubby needs to start taking more responsibility for time with the kids. They may prefer you because they don't feel he can be counted on, but it needs to be done. Start letting him take over small tasks with them and gradually increase his responsibilities. OR, have him do other things you are doing, like cooking/cleaning, etc.

Put them down very early at night. We probably can't do a lot about their own internal clocks but they can learn to respect others and their rest. And if they don't sleep right then you can tell them "you don't have to sleep but you do have to rest quietly" meaning they can look at books or play with one of their toys on their beds. I strongly encourage having them look at books during these times for many different reasons.

If you do not take a stand with discipline NOW you will only be hurt in the future. I see it daily with my 2 nieces. Find a disciplinary method that you agree with, implement the plan and stick with it, and have husband participate.

It sounds like the kids could also benefit from structure - a schedule - at least some of the time. They can learn to be thoughtful, considerate, helpful, appreciative and respectful but it's up to you and your husband to show them. You will not get another chance to do these things and it's a lot of work at first but the benefits will be many. Act now!

Re: "They dont listen to ANYONE during the day! Tell them "NO" they say "I can if I want!!" NO WAY!!!! Seriously Mom, that HAS to stop.