What experience has shaped you the most in life?

[Doglover8180]

Bumping old threads.

[Doglover8180]

[SouthernBelle5]

I think we often are shaped more by negative experiences. My grandfather died when I was 9 and that was the first death I had experienced. It completely freaked me out.

When my mother and stepfather sat me down in 4th grade to tell me they were separating (for the first time ). That shattered me.

I do have a positive. Couponing allowed our family to travel to Ireland this year. Standing in an abandoned abbey in a cow field and looking around at the beauty of the land and history is firmly imprinted on my brain. Planning Australia next year.

[chitownmelli]

Well, I've been thinking about this thread a lot. What helped to make me who I am today is a very long story and very personal, so I will just share that what shaped me the most in life was going through a very hard thing, taking ten years to get over it - and then finding it within myself to look at life differently and never let something affect me or my family ever again the way that that situation did. I had to learn that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you and it will set you free, because being upset with them doesn't hurt them, it only hurts you.... for as long as you will let it. From what I went through, I am smarter, braver, more caring, more loving, more cautious of who I let into my life and to those that I do, I hold on to them with everything I have inside of me and I let them know how much I love them all of the time. I now try to pass the lessons that I spent a decade learning myself to my siblings, because they need them as much as I did, and they are my whole life, and they know it. ;) I'm sorry that I can't be more specific, but it's not the sort of thing that I want to really think back on, or share with a whole bunch of people even if most of us are really close.

P.S. to southernbelle, what you said about the negative experiences... I think you are right, and in my post there where I basically said nothing I suppose, I took the good and the bad - the good is what was left over when I was done sifting out the bad :)

Congratulations to all of you who have overcome something to become the person you are today, and best of luck to those who are still working on it :) I'm cheering for you, and just know, it gets better when you decide it does :)

[Doglover8180]

I agree that we are shaped by the negative experiences in our life more then the positive ones. The negative ones usually have greater impacts on our lives, usually are remembered longer, etc...

But I also agree that we are even further shaped by, not just the negative experiences or negative hands we are dealt, but more importantly by how we respond to them, how we chose to bounce back or not bounce back, how we chose to respond to life's experiences I think shapes us sometimes even more then the experiences themselves.

[Doglover8180]

[fungirl2727]

I got a few things that shaped my life !
My parents getting divorce at age 5. My brother lived with my dad and I lived with my mother! I only saw my dad 4 days a month. I t has caused me not to be very close to my dad at all. I can still remember my mom telling use wll we sitting on steps. My brother start crying he was getting taking away from my mom at 6 yr old. My brother is 29 and won't really commit to anyone. My mother just will date rich guys and my dad has a gold digging girlfriend!
The second thing was when my son was 3 he was in icu for 4 days for amonia! He was on breathing machine. He got scans and they had to stop because he couldn't breath. Doctor told me if I needed to flip out I needed to leave room. They had about 5 nurses and 2 doctors trying to get him stable. Makes me not want to take life for granted!
Last summer a really good friends 18 month drown in there family pool. It makes me way more careful with pools. They turn heads for 2 sec and kid went to pool. They found him floating in pool.

[Clipper]

Being fat. It has made me round.

[3timesoccermom]

Wow, some profound things here. I'm glad I checked into this thread.

THE biggest thing for me has been my kids - they change your life in too many ways to even try to mention - and I mean in good ways. They have been a lot of work of course but they are/were worth it.

The next biggest thing was growing up - most of Queenofthehive's post could be mine. My mom also made it clear that if better birth control had been available we wouldn't have existed. So when we decided to have kids I knew I would do everything possible to make sure they ALWAYS felt wanted, appreciated and loved as well as smart and beautiful - all things I never once felt as a kid and still struggle with today.

Another experience helped ensure I never take my kids for granted.