Prayers please

[Lori63]

My hubby decided last Feb. that he was not happy. We started counseling and this summer things were better.
The past three-four weeks things have slowly gotten worse again. He didn't show up for counseling last week, and told me this morning (Our 25th anniversary) that he doesn't think he can ever be happy with me.

Our counselor (who I really like) told me last week that it is not me-he is depressed, has issues from his past, etc. I'm not saying nothing is my fault, but I have devoted myself to fixing this marriage for the past 8 months and know I have done all I can do.

Yet, I am devastated. I truly feel we are meant to be together, but if he doesn't , when do I cut my losses and get on with my life?
Thanks for letting my blather on-I just don't know what to do. I know God has a plan and maybe he's telling me to let it go? Or stay and try to be patient?
Hubby is in individual counseling and has promised to continue with marriage counseling, but I am in so much pain.
I try to be a positive person and this is not like me to put it all out there on the internet, but I feel like I am dying.

[shelleyf]

Lori I will be praying for you. I am so saddened to hear this. I know your heart is breaking. I know someone who's husband said the same thing but then changed his mind a few weeks later. He realized when he left and cleared his head that he wasn't thinking properly. 25 years is a long time to spend with someone and I would not give up on your marriage. I think because your husband is depressed he thinks he wants to be alone. He might not want to bring you down. He might be going through a mid-life crisis. You are a very nice woman and I pray that he comes around very soon. Only the Lord can mend your broken heart and I pray that he does very soon. I will send you a pm so I don't clog up the thread.

[Lori63]

The counselor told him he is going through a midlife crisis. I'm trying to hang in there, but would it be better if I kicked him out? Counselor thinks that wouldn't help, and I am trying to be patient as long as he continues to try to get help.

[XUfan]

Lori, I don't have any advice for you, but my heart ached when I read your post. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You're a wonderful person, and you don't deserve for something like this to happen to you. I will pray for you...and for your husband...that the best thing happens for both of you.

[healingMD]

Lori, my prayers are with you. Continue to draw strength from on high. Know & do all you can to hold true to your end of your marriage covenant. Keep your mind on goodness, even though you feel crushed.

[Mama Stu]

I can not even imagine how you must be hurting. I am sorry to hear this, (((hugs))) , keep praying. I don't think you should kick him out either. I know the temptation to do that must be very strong and I know it would be my first thought. But, as believers we know that God has a plan and wants you to rely on Him during this troubling time. I am also thinking that however miserable your husband is making you, he must be that miserable himself on the inside to feel this way. Hang in there, and prayers for you.

[Jen1]

Thinking of you. Along with the other PPs, it was very sad it read your post. Hoping for a good outcome. In the meantime, why not try to pick up a new interest or hobby? Maybe join a class on something that interests you? Not that this will take the pain away, just something to give you a little less heartache.

[Lori63]

Thanks~

[lovemygirls]

First off for you. I'm sure this is a difficult time for you but remember the man above has a reason for all things. Be strong and hang in there. You can make it through this

[3timesoccermom]

I am truly sorry to hear about your pain.

Marriage is often portrayed as always wonderful and effortless but it's not. Anyone together that long has suffered their share of bumps and bruises (or they will) and it's an extremely rare person that doesn't grow and change over the years so you are not alone in what you are going through.

But I also realize when you've been together that long, even if everything hasn't been roses, you just can't imagine being without your partner.

I hope you and your husband can come to an understanding and figure out what is best for each of you. Your needs, desires and wishes are every bit as important as his so make sure you are heard.