What would you do?

[a_tyson8]

My boyfriend of 4 years went to one of his friends' lakehouses tonight. I do not like these friends. I did not want him to go. I at least asked him to compromise by not spending the night.

He ended up drinking too much and was not able to drive home. A few hours after I find this out, someone there posts a picture on FB. It's my boyfriend, on the couch with both of his arms around another girl. They are both sleeping. Understandably, I freaked out. I texted the person who posted the picture and asked him WTF was going on. He explained that they fell asleep while watching a movie and then SCOLDED me for overreacting and not trusting my BF. I feel that I am totally justified in my reaction. I should also note that two weeks ago, this girl 'jokingly' kissed him on the cheek while a picture was being taken. I also saw that on FB. I texted her, and told her it made me uncomfortable and asked her not to do it again. He did the same. She apologized and assured me it was just a joke. This little 'history' did not make me feel any better about seeing this picture.

So, what do you think? It may have been an accident, but that doesn't make it hurt any less to see my boyfriend wrapped up in another girl. I really don't know what I'm going to say to him when he gets back tomorrow.

[CW&M Mom]

Is it possible this girl took advantage of him? That he was so drunk he didn't even realize it wasn't you? Not trying to give him excuses...but it sounds like someone is trying to get a reaction out of you....and he's being played the fool as well.

If it were me though...this going to the lake house without you would end. If you don't want to go then he needs to not go. If he can't respect that..then..that's pretty pathetic of him.

[a_tyson8]

Is it possible this girl took advantage of him? That he was so drunk he didn't even realize it wasn't you? Not trying to give him excuses...but it sounds like someone is trying to get a reaction out of you....and he's being played the fool as well.

If it were me though...this going to the lake house without you would end. If you don't want to go then he needs to not go. If he can't respect that..then..that's pretty pathetic of him.

He's in the band at Ohio State. It's 'their thing'. Non-band members are not invited.

I don't think he was THAT drunk. And the person who took the picture assured me that nothing happened (in fact he just called and yelled at me for texting my boyfriend... apparently it is disturbing other people. way to kick me while I'm down ).

Like I said, accident or not, it doesn't make me feel any better. It was absolutely horrible to see something like that.

[CW&M Mom]

He's in the band at Ohio State. It's 'their thing'. Non-band members are not invited.

I don't think he was THAT drunk. And the person who took the picture assured me that nothing happened (in fact he just called and yelled at me for texting my boyfriend... apparently it is disturbing other people. way to kick me while I'm down ).

Like I said, accident or not, it doesn't make me feel any better. It was absolutely horrible to see something like that.

So they it's not disturbing of them to post it on Facebook..but your disturbing them by texting him...waaaaa...I think they are full of crap.

turn off your phone.

Talk to him in the morning...the people surrounding him are jerks...no point in talking to them. they are just trying to get at you..so don't let them.

Until you can see your boyfriend face to face I don't know that you will know for sure..but honestly how much of it is he going to remember .

[a_tyson8]

So they it's not disturbing of them to post it on Facebook..but your disturbing them by texting him...waaaaa...I think they are full of crap.

turn off your phone.

Talk to him in the morning...the people surrounding him are jerks...no point in talking to them. they are just trying to get at you..so don't let them.

Until you can see your boyfriend face to face I don't know that you will know for sure..but honestly how much of it is he going to remember .

the picture that was posted wasn't directly of them (that would have been very weird and would have raised even more questions. they were in the background. It wasn't intentionally thrown in my face.

I have never liked these friends of his. We always have problems when it comes to them, and this is only going to make things worse. I may or may not have texted this girl and told her to stay away from my boyfriend Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but I really was not thinking clearly at the time. It was a horrible feeling.

[JulieDB]

I'm probably a lot older than you. I don't have the patience for stuff like that at all. First I wouldn't tell a boyfriend that I didn't want him to go someplace. If I felt that I would have to do that I would take a long hard look at the relationship and wonder why I would feel the need to do this. Ah but... If I didn't like the boyfriend's friends, then chances are, he wouldn't be my boyfriend to begin with.

I am married now. I liked my husband's friends (the ones I had met anyway) when we got married. He is in the militay and we did move around a lot. Hopefully no more. But... At one place we lived he had a friend I did not like at all. The guy was rude, obnoxious and prided himself on drinking too much. Thankfully that relationship was short lived. We moved. He moved. Never met up again.

I do not put up with people drinking too much so that they can not drive. I think if they are going to drive they should just not drink. My husband has pulled that stunt a few times and he certainly does get the cold shoulder from me every time he has done it.

As for the other woman, I would not have sent her a text or even contacted her at all. I think it is silly to tell someone to keep away from my man! People are going to do what they are going to do. And if he's going to let her do stuff like that then he will let her do stuff like that. And if he does? Let her have him.

This just all sounds very juvenile to me and I wouldn't put with it.

[FunnyFace]

Don't ignore your intuition; it's there for a reason. Ask yourself if you think any reason or excuse would make it okay if you were married. If not, then it's not okay now and end the relationship. You deserve better, you are worth more, believe that above all else. There is a man out there that will cherish you with all of his being and this is not the guy whether you love him or not. My heart goes out to you.

[kschick96]

First off there are several things wrong with this picture...

1. He disregarded your feelings about him going in the first place.
2. You asked him not to stay the night-he got too "drunk" to drive. This was his way of doing what he wanted to do-but he felt he had a good excuse becuase he knew you would not want him driving. He is an adult and of drinking age-he knows his limits. He would have been very easy for him to just have one beer-he chose to drink much more.
3. Had the pic not been posted would he have told you about the girl? Probably not.


Don't make excuses for him. Often times in situations like this, when you are looking for excuses, it's because you are not wanting to face the facts. Look at the facts and the facts only. Yes, I understand it was a band members only thing-but this went too far. I am not suggesting that last night needs to be the end of your relationship, but if I were you I would be taking a long, hard look at it.

I promise I am not trying to be harsh-I'm just trying to tell you how I see it. I wish you the best. ((Hugs))

[434Teresa]

I am sure I am older than you..lol but true...

Dont waste your time. If he was my bf and went without me to a party well that alone would tell me to RUN the other way. When it comes to young drinking parties(been there done that) where the GF or BF cant or dont go that is just asking for problems(younger or older). Also he chose to party over you so he must not care as much for you as you would like to think he dose. Then there is the fact that he must have knew that gril was going to be or coudl be there and being that there was already problems with her between the two of you he should not have placed himself with her when he knew he was going to be drinking or could be.

It also sounds like this gril is a want to be girlfriend(been there dont that one to), so I am going to say that she is going to be near him any time she can be even if he is drinking. She may have done that so you would hear about it(thinking it) but then again she may have just wantted to be near him while she could be(love dose funny things to people).

The thing is he knows that you and this girl have problems over him so other than while in band unless he wants to be near her also he needs to stay away from her to keep the problems and hard feelings down(no punt intended here)..

I am sorry this is child's play and soon you will learn this. With the years of life I have under me know I would move on until I find someone I dont have to battle over things like this with its a waste of time and engery.

[a_tyson8]

Yes, we are younger. Unfortunately that does not make it any easier :( He finally woke up so hopefully he will be leaving soon and we can talk when he gets back. I know it might be easy to say that I should end it, but we have been together for four years and it would be very hard to do that. I really, really hope it doesn't come to that.