UPDATED 10/17:New family member: 6 yr old niece the family didn't know existed!

[mammabear9]

Hi I just need to talk about this, some of my family is gonna think I'm nuts but anyways here's the story:
My mom got a phone call today from my brother asking if she would be able to take custody of my oldest brother's little girl (my oldest brother is in prison for the next 5 years min.). Well of course my mom was wondering why since the only girl we knew my oldest brother had lives with her mom and her step-dad and her older brothers, well come to find out that he had gotten a girl pregnant about 7 years ago and she never told him that he was gonna be a daddy again. Something happened I don't know what yet but the little girl's mom is also now in prison and her maternal grandparents don't want her, and my oldest sister doesn't want her and my other brother can't take her so anyways my mom has health problems and doesn't know if she can get custody or not so me and my dh said we will take her if the state will give her to us. The reason I said some of my family will think I'm nuts is because between me and my dh we have 7 girls (2 live with their mom) and the rest live with us. Now I just wanted to know what everybody's opinion on here would be. Me personally I will move heaven and earth to make sure this little girl (don't even know her name yet that's how crazy this situation is) is given to me because even though I have never met her she is my blood and part of this family and I would never let her go into foster care because that's the next option if the state can't place her with me or my mom. So do you think I'm doing the right think or am I crazy to take on yet another child. Our kids ages right now are 13,12,9,8,6,3, and 1 and a half. Thanks and I appreciate any thoughts, opinions or prayers.

Update: see post 16
updated:6/21 see post 20
updated:post 23

[couponmommyof3]

Go for it!!!! I am one of those people that *hopefully* one day can open my home to children in need. My heart breaks each and every time I hear a sad story about some kid in foster care.

I'm the oldest of 6 kids and really what's one more kid?

Good Luck!!!!

[3timesoccermom]

I think she would thrive in your household. And with that many, what's 1 more?? Good luck!!!!!!

[mammabear9]

I hope they do let her be with me. I'm worried about how she'll adjust because she doesn't know me or the family but I figure all the other girls will help her and make her feel like this is where she belongs with family. I so glad I have HCW to be able to talk about things because I would go crazy otherwise you know.

[AJS6726]

Yes, go for it !!!! With all the kids that are already there, I don't think she will have any problem adjusting. Best of luck, hope everything works out.

[lmcconne]

As far as the adjustment, certainly the child will not know your family any less than a traditional foster family. And at least there is the chance of long-term bonding.

[wookin]

You are definitely doing the right thing. I got tears in my eyes reading about all the family members that don't want her. I really don't understand that. Not talking about your mom cuz I understand health reasons and a 6 yr old but the others.....not so much. I commend you for wanting her and if you change your mind, I'll take her JK, but I would love to.

[daisydog215]

I agree with the others and think that opening your home (and heart) is the right thing to do and she will surely be better off than in being in foster care. That said, if her mother is being sent to prison, regardless of the reason, she has probably seen/heard/been around things that most 6 year olds haven't. Combined with moving in with people she has never met, moving to a new area, etc. she may act out or become withdrawn.

My advice is to go into this with a bit of caution and to prepare your girls as well as possible. It will probably be a smaller adjustment for them (they are used to stability, sharing, etc.) than for your niece.

[motherofmolly]

i feel the same way, blood is blood. she will probably need some adjustment and probably have a few issues in the beginning. as long as she knows that she is loved and your family wants her, i am sure it will be an easy transition.

good for you for wanting to try and keep her out of the system.

[mammabear9]

well so far this morning I've called social services and they are supposed to get my phone number to the girl's caseworker so hopefully I will find out something soon. Thanks for everybody's thoughts.