Opinions- Niece's High School graduation

[uummm]

Ditto on this! If money is tight and you are not wanting to spend much-one thing I do is send a check for the amount of their graduation year-so you'd send a check for $20.11.

That is funny!

[preister]

I quickly skimmed some of this, so I may have missed important details. But I don't see why you would assume a facebook posting would necessarily be connected to your visit. Why not pick up the phone and ask what the weekend would entail? JMO!

[3timesoccermom]

The graduation announcement could still be coming, it's a tiny bit early for them. Sometimes there is a communication disconnect between the teen and the parents on the "ideas" so she may just want to go to Ruth's but that doesn't mean the parents have decided that's where they're going. Also if her parents didn't mention a restaurant it could be that just your niece and maybe her friends are going on the restaurant outing.

Is this their first child to graduate? If so maybe they were clueless about what a big deal it is when your kid graduated and maybe that's why they neglected to make an effort. Also if an announcement wasn't sent maybe they weren't really sure if he did.

Anyway, from the sounds of it this is what I'd choose: send the niece a check or a VISA gift card with a nice letter wishing her well.

[uummm]

I was reminded by my family how much we didn't want to even go to any of our graduations so upon further thought I am not going to go and I won't feel guilty. We will send her $50 which is more than they have ever sent any of my kids for anything- And more than what we would have given her if we went. I was feeling kinda guilty but I am over it-I also found out that my brother already said "She won't come."

I am not calling anyone. They can't even call me to see if it is ok if their 2 kids came over when my cousin came last summer. It is a very dysfunctional family IMO and my brother can't see it but he will criticize everyone else. And I certainly don't need to hear him bad mouth my cousin -which is what he did last time. I do think that they would save the out to dinner thing for closer to her birthday.

I sometimes wonder if the same parents raised us. But they did and my brother and I are only 17 months apart.

[3timesoccermom]

uummm - so much of what you said in that last reply is JUST LIKE my own family. I have even made the same comments about us all being raised in the same family because of our differences.

I am the oldest of 4; there are 13 months between me and #2. Only 10 1/2 months between #2 and #3 and 17 months between #3 and #4, my brother.

[Kulis]

Sounds like you reached a good conclusion.

I agree with all the other advice about not going and simply sending a card.

But. . .
I know that dh's family would never find that acceptable. They expect everyone to travel across the country for weddings, graduations, you name it. Travel, stay in a hotel, and give a monetary gift. Funny thing is, they are not wealthy people; I know many of them struggle paycheck to paycheck.
I don't share their philosophy, but there have been times when we "gave in" just to keep peace.