My daughter is crying and did not want to go to pre-school..

[sumo]

My daughter is 3 yr 3 months old and we just started sending her to pre-school from last week. Its 2 day 2.5 hr program. She was really excited to go to school and she did wonderful first two days.

Yesterday also she woke up and had her breakfast to go to school but then started crying that she won't go to school. We tried our best to clam her down and I took her to school and stayed with her 45 min in her class room. As soon as I left the class room she started crying again. Her teacher told that I should leave and she will stop her crying.

She has school tomorrow and she is crying from morning in every few mins saying she won't go to school. She says she miss me at school. I told her all the fun things that happen at school and about meeting her new friends, teachers and buying new stuff for school and I will be 5 mins away from school and always come and pick her up if she needs me. But nothing seems to be working. I know she is going through separation anxiety and needs some time to get adjusted. I am SAHM and this is the first time she is away from home and me.

I know every child is different but I would like to hear some input from other parents. What worked for you and your child? How long did that last? I really can't see her crying like that.

Thanks
-Sumo

[fungirl2727]

Well my son is the same age as your daughter. He goes to school 3 days a wk 7 to 5 and he loves going to school so much.he is sad on the days he doesn't go and hang out with his friends. He has a little girlfriend he holds hands with it is so cute. I am also a sahm but send him to school for education and social with kids his age. Anyways I see kids like that at my son school all the time. You need to say you need to go school and mommy needs to do stuff and I will be back to pick you up. Don't sit there for 45 min I think it. Is making it worse. You need to let her cry and you need to leave. Parents always walk out at my son school and the kids are fine in 10 min.

[fungirl2727]

Well my son is the same age as your daughter. He goes to school 3 days a wk 7 to 5 and he loves going to school so much.he is sad on the days he doesn't go and hang out with his friends. He has a little girlfriend he holds hands with it is so cute. I am also a sahm but send him to school for education and social with kids his age. Anyways I see kids like that at my son school all the time. You need to say you need to go school and mommy needs to do stuff and I will be back to pick you up. Don't sit there for 45 min I think it. Is making it worse. You need to let her cry and you need to leave. Parents always walk out at my son school and the kids are fine in 10 min.

My son has been going to school for a yr and half now and he will go 3 full days next school yr and then next yr after that he will go 7 to 5 5 days a wk. He just loves being with his little friends.

[434Teresa]

I have twins that are 4 and I hope they are getting into pre-k this next year and I know that alex is going to be this same way so I am ready for it.....I have two older boys that are 15 and 16. I went threw this with my 15 year year old, and the best thing to do is drop him off and leave right then dont hang around that only makes it worse. I know its hard to leave while they are begging and crying but like the teacher said they will stop within minutes of you being out the door and as each day gose by it will get to where there is no crying at all. This is one of those tough love things I guess...........dont know whom its tough on us or the little ones.

[Katane]

When I worked in daycare there were a lot of kids who had a hard time being left at first. I know it's super hard but it really is best to just say "mommy loves you, have a great day in school. I'll be back to pick you up in a little while" and then leave. The longer a parent stays the longer it takes the child to settle down and join the group. I bawled like a baby after dropping my daughter off for her first day of Kindergarten, I know it's hard to leave them especially if they're crying but it really is best

[dliver316]

Aww! I am sorry you are going thru this with your daughter!! It is hard to see them cry and miss you so much.

My son is 3 years 4 months...we just started mothers day out with him for one day a week this year. The first couple of days, just like your daughter, he LOVED it. Then same as her, he started crying and saying, "No mommy, I dont want to go to school. I want to stay with you." Broke my heart. But he is soo social and loves being with other kids, and also I really enjoy having just a little free time...so I kept taking him. His teachers said he would cry for just about 2 minutes and then was playing with toys and kids and doing great. Now he does fine and doesnt cry at all. Loves school!

My suggestion is just tell your daughter today is school, you will have lots of fun and mommy will be back to pick you up in just a few hours. Tell her to make sure she makes something for you. Then ask her teachers how she did. I would suggest not going in and staying with her at all. Just my opinion. It works well for us.

Good luck!

[3timesoccermom]

Ugh I feel for both of you. My 3 girls were in a Mother's Day out program when they were little and all 3 of them cried the first couple of times I left them. I felt horrible and of course I cried too but the teachers assured me that within moments of leaving they always stopped crying and after that initial period they all loved going.

It does concern me a little though that your daughter was ok at first but after going a couple of times then started disliking it.

[kschick96]

Have you checked to see if there is another reason why she is upset and doesn't want to go?

Example: Back in the mid 1980's when my sister went to Kindergarten, she was all about it, excited to go, then one day everything changed and she had the same reaction as your LO every morning. After much disccusion and investigation-my parents found out that a little boy would corner my sis and would kiss her everyday-she hated it and found it scary (this was before the no tolerance touch). Finally, the teacher, boy's mom, and my parents got the boy to stop the behavior and she was fine with school again.

[shopaddiction666]

That can be true also someone might be bugging her .

In the 80's our mom taught us tough love on everything so now when i see kids doing bad things and parents dont even look , it does not make much sense. My momma would not of been able to come back or sit in the class with me she was a single parent of 3 and a min pay job

[CW&M Mom]

When I worked in daycare there were a lot of kids who had a hard time being left at first. I know it's super hard but it really is best to just say "mommy loves you, have a great day in school. I'll be back to pick you up in a little while" and then leave. The longer a parent stays the longer it takes the child to settle down and join the group. I bawled like a baby after dropping my daughter off for her first day of Kindergarten, I know it's hard to leave them especially if they're crying but it really is best

This exactly! Taught daycare..2's class for 7 years. Go in...drop off her stuff...give her a kiss and hug and tell her you'll be back in a couple of hours..and walk out the door...don't doddle, don't hesitate..don't peek on her...don't change your mind and stay. All of that will just make her cry..cause she knows the crying is making you stay

oh and don't sneak out...whatever you do. Even though it's hard to tell her good bye with her crying...she'll lose trust in you if you try and sneak out