You can't have anything nice when you have kids!!

[kschick96]

Ok-we had our first baby/toddler mishap last night. I went to get something out of the hall closet and DS managed to grab a new 50oz refill bottle of Dial hand soap. In the 30 seconds I had my back turned, he managed to get the lid off and poor it all over his sleeper and the hall carpet. When I turned around, he was "massaging" it into the carpet. It was a hoot! When he would rub his legs and feet together they would foam! lol!

I put him the sink for another bath while DH got to cleaning the hall. While in the bath, he reached over and grabbed our prescription canister and dumped all of our prescriptions in his bath water! What a night!

How about you- any funny stories (atleast now that enough time has passed-lol) where it seemed that your LO was on a warpath to destroy your house?

[fussypants]

My ds is almost 11 now, and it's only recently that I haven't wanted to sell him to gypsies for some of the stunts he has pulled!

A few of my favorites from when he was about 2 1/2-3 ish...

He was very sneaky and would never come get us when he woke up. No matter what we done, he would wake up and sneak out of his room. We had to put alarms on the doors and he figured out he could turn off the monitors in his room at a VERY early age...one morning my dh and I woke up to find him in our office hiding under the desk holding my purse. He had dumped out the contents of my purse and proceeded to cut anything that was paper into tiny pieces. Receipts, checkbook, etc. He had then got the glue and reached as high as he could on the window blinds and drizzled the glue all the way down. It was running down the blinds and puddling on the carpet beneath the window. He had glued pieces of my papers all over the mini blinds. In a lovely pattern, of course!

Another time, once again getting up and sneaking around. He emptied various fridge items into the kitchen drawers. A dozen eggs busted in the silverware drawer, etc. (Said he was looking for baby birds! ) That same morning he had taken a big bottle of chocolate syrup and ''watered'' all my plants with it. Filled the dirt and drizzled over ALL the leaves of probably 7-8 plants!

I had never had a new living room furniture set in my life. I saved for years to purchase one. It was REALLY nice and it could be taken completely apart and washed in a regular washing machine (bonus!) I paid over $3000 for this set! (yeah, that seems dumb, now!) It had not been in my house 12 hours when he wrote on it with a SHARPIE!!!...he is only alive today because, I indeed can scrub permanent marker out of my couch cushions!

Hang in there! We have all been there! Some things are funny, some not so much!

[foggierbard9]

My daughter pulled my plate off of the table last night in the time it took me to get her bottle....needless to say our carpet under the table now is stained with chinese food. My son(2 at the time, 3 now) decorated ALL the doors in the apartment with red permanent marker....He was being way too quiet, and I soon found out why. He has also colored the walls in our bedroom....He has an artistic side that he can't seem to contain to paper.

[Katane]

when my daughter was three she woke up before us found some bottles of nail polish and decorated everything in the bathroom and her bedroom with it!

[OneHotMomma]

My son, when he had just started walking, got up while we were still sleeping and deviated from his morning wake up mom and dad routine. He went to the living room and found my coupon binder. When I woke up I found him with my coupons all around the living room floor. ALL OF THEM. He emptied my binder and threw them everywhere. In couch cushions, behind the tv, under the chair, in his diaper. I was so upset. DH had to take him to the park and give me time to calm down.

[mmb1996]

When my daughter was 5 I redid her room and she picked out deep dark rich purple carpet, it was beautiful. (Notice the word was?) She had it a week and spilled something so she thought she would clean it up cause she didn't want me to know. She used the bathroom cleaner with BLEACH She is now 15 and she still has that carpet LOL along with the small patch of pale purple carpet right in the middle I was furious at the time, ten years have passed and I can smile a little about it now. Just a little.....

[CW&M Mom]

Oldest: She carved her name in our 120 year old antique bedroom door. She's 8 so it was less than humerous

Middle: He's not actually the destroy type...but has managed to puke on just about everything we own.

Bottom: She's my sharpie queen. She finds a sharpie she goes on a warpath to color the house with it.

[tinkinpink84]

Well I just this afternoon spent $112 and almost had to purchase a new toilet. One of the kids managed to put squidwards house, a toy from mcdonalds or burger king in the toilet and jam it in their! Didnt know until the plumber showed us. It was in the toilet pipe itself. They had to take the entire toilet off and try and melt the toy out! Now my house smells like burnt plastic and i have $112 less. But seeing as we arent sure if it was one of my 2 or one of my sisters 3 they are paying for half of it! No wonder the plunger wasnt doing anything!

[Katane]

Well I just this afternoon spent $112 and almost had to purchase a new toilet. One of the kids managed to put squidwards house, a toy from mcdonalds or burger king in the toilet and jam it in their! Didnt know until the plumber showed us. It was in the toilet pipe itself. They had to take the entire toilet off and try and melt the toy out! Now my house smells like burnt plastic and i have $112 less. But seeing as we arent sure if it was one of my 2 or one of my sisters 3 they are paying for half of it! No wonder the plunger wasnt doing anything!

Something like that happened to us too. Whens she was about 5 or 6 I asked her to clean her bathroom (pick up bath toys, that kinda thing) and rather than put away the toy hair curlers, she just raked them into the toilet and flushed! Hubby had to take the toilet off and dig them out. Needless to say that was not a pleasant day

[tinkinpink84]

This toy was jammed in their pretty good! They actually had to light a torch thing to melt the plastic down to get it out! My upstairs reeks of melted plastic now.