Joint custody blues...

[puakinikini]

Well, we had the month of June this year, so starting Monday, our DS (12 y.o.) will be with his mom for the next month. We usually have July - and for some reason it seems easier emotionally to have the last half of the summer rather than the first half.

We did a lot of fun things - I had a lot of free movie tickets, got free baseball tickets from work twice, went to D-land, he had a trip with his dad. It was really a wonderful summer, but it feels over to me even though we have a month left (school starts 8/9).

Our house feels empty without all 4 kids (I know this is hard to imagine for those of you who also have 3 small children under the age of 4!). My 4 yo DS is having a hard time dealing with his brother leaving, we started preparing him 2 days ago, even though he knows about the general custody arrangement.

I guess I am just feeling blue...my DH feels the same way - so at least we have each other.

[kremsh]

I understand how you feel, when my 2 kids were growing up they spent every July with their dad and it was like dropping them into a black hole. I was so used to being with them, talking to them and knowing where they were every day. I looked forward to my visitations with them on Wednesdays and every other weekend but it just wasn't the same. My house was totally empty except for me and the dogs. I did get a lot done cleaning and puttering around, but wow was the house silent!

I'm glad you have your 3 others and DH around, just have fun with them and before you know it, DS will be back!

[momto8kiddos]

I'm sorry about your understandable blues. I can't imagine having to send my children off for a month every year. That's incredibly tough.

I do understand about how the house can feel empty even though you still have three kids at home. We've experienced the same thing many times. Our three oldest kids went off for the weekend to visit their grandmother and it was soooooooo weird having only FIVE at home.

[434Teresa]

wait tell they get 14/15 years old you will be happy for them to go for that month in a away but you will still miss the crap out of them.

I know its feels empty with that child there but a month will pass by fast.

[puakinikini]

Thank you for the support - it is really hard, but we had a great day today. I am just trying to enjoy the last 24 hours.

Kremsh - the silver lining in this situation is that we can concentrate on the little ones needs for a while. We do more little kid stuff when DS is at his moms.

momto8kiddos - I am glad to hear that other people feel the same way, no matter how big their families are. Our life is a bit chaotic, but it is defintely quieter when 1 is missing.

434teresa - I know what you mean - he is already getting to that stage, but as much as they annoy you, you still want them around (although ask me that in 2 years!)

[acamac01]

I know exactly how you feel. My son doesn't spend a whole month at a time away, but in the summer he goes more often and we kind of leave it up to him how long he stays. Sometimes he is gone for a week at a time, and I miss him, but hate to tell him that he can't go and spend time with his dad. So....I just suck it up and let him go.

[queenofthehivemomof5]

:( sorry you have the blues. It's good that you miss him, make sure he knows. I always felt my parents were happy to get rid of me when I went to stay with my mom or dad (my folks were divorced when I was 2)

[nurseannette]

I share custody of my 9yr dd with her dad. It can be really hard sometimes. They go to Mexico for a month at a time.He also has a very serious cancer. I get thru by putting my dd feelings ahead of my own. I know she needs this time with him and his family. It could very well be the last trip they can take together. My husband is also very loving and supportive, so he along with our 3 little ones help the custody blues for me. Try to enjoy your littles as much as possible. Summer is just so short.

[padmelupin]

We don't have joint custody (his mother doesn't even have overnights according to the court order) but DH is extremely generous with extra time and he just spent five days with her.

Man, it was hard! I don't know how I got so attached to this child, but I did. I can't imagine an entire month!