I really wanted a nice wedding..........

[cearhart]

Ok so every little girl dreams of there wedding day, and I was always about the proposal I always wanted the most romantic proposal ever. My first husband was not tnhat romantic. After im and I broke up I though I would never find true love because I definately did not have that with him. But then I meet my Df I am so in love with him he asked me to marry him one night when he was drunkl, kinda half asleep. I didn't even know if he meant it, the nextday KI asked if he meant it and he did we went and picked out a ring. We went to disneyland and I though that he would make it a memoriable proposal after waiting a week for him to pop the question. He finally asked me outside our hotel I really wanted to make a big scene and make it special. I do love him very much but I felt let down I then began to think about the perfect wedding and then now due to circumstance we are going to be getting married very soon like 3 months. I am broke because of these circum stances under which we are getting married and now my hopes of that perfect wedding are gone too :( I feel very let down, this is what I always wanted and now I will never have. I am so sad, I just don't know what to do.

[jenrose]

Just because you have to have a your wedding on the dheap and quick it doesnt mean it can't be wonderful. Not only is the most important thing that the two of you are in love and have each other, but also you are the only one who can deam the wedding perfect!

If you strive for perfection then you will be let down no matter how much time and money you have to spend for the wedding. I spent no more than $3,000 for my Big wedding including all attire, food, hall, invitations, etc. And I could have done it even cheaper and still had it be wonderful. I expected at least one thing to go wrong at my wedding and kept myself calm because I knew there was no such thing as perfect except perfect in my mind.

Do you still plan to have a 'wedding' or get married by a justice of the peace at the courthouse? You can also just have a small wedding at the courthouse and throw a party at a later date (say your 1yr anniversary) as your reception or renew your vows on your aniversay......

Don't look at it as loosing out on something, look at it as a reason to do things different.

[NIGHTB1022]

Ok so every little girl dreams of there wedding day, and I was always about the proposal I always wanted the most romantic proposal ever. My first husband was not tnhat romantic. After im and I broke up I though I would never find true love because I definately did not have that with him. But then I meet my Df I am so in love with him he asked me to marry him one night when he was drunkl, kinda half asleep. I didn't even know if he meant it, the nextday KI asked if he meant it and he did we went and picked out a ring. We went to disneyland and I though that he would make it a memoriable proposal after waiting a week for him to pop the question. He finally asked me outside our hotel I really wanted to make a big scene and make it special. I do love him very much but I felt let down I then began to think about the perfect wedding and then now due to circumstance we are going to be getting married very soon like 3 months. I am broke because of these circum stances under which we are getting married and now my hopes of that perfect wedding are gone too :( I feel very let down, this is what I always wanted and now I will never have. I am so sad, I just don't know what to do.

Money cannot buy a perfect marriage or wedding day, trust me on this one, you can still have a very nice wedding on a limited budget, it's what's in your heart that day that counts, not the wow factor for your guests.

I know it's something every girl dreams of is a fairy tale wedding, but anymore with the economy the way it is, all you are doing is throwing one big expensive party for everyone, and you won't get it back in your cards and for what? You can't buy glorious memories, perhaps you should consider doing somewhat of a small intimate wedding such as candlelight in the church or a wedding at twilight in a beautiful park with a small intimate reception of only your family and closest friends, believe me you will have much better memories than a drunken bash for a reception, because anymore people have no respect and an expensive reception is an open bar free for all for those too inconsiderate to take into consideration what the dinner plate and bar for them cost and to put it into a gift in a card for both of you.

Don't be sad, you should still be happy you met someone that is perfect for you......that's priceless in this day and age, and it's also something Mastercard can't buy!

[puakinikini]

So, I have to admit my dreams were about graduating from college - not my wedding.

So take this with a grain of salt if you want to, but I think that weddings are totally over-rated and over-hyped. I have gone to many friends weddings that cost 30,000+ that have ended in divorce in less than 5 years. We did the minimum for our wedding - we had it in the back yard, printed our own invites, and had it catered by the hospital that I work at. We had a friend play the guitar and he brought along a friend that played the flute. We had 60 family members and friends. We wrote our own vows and had our kids stand up for us. It was "perfect' for us. My husband is not romantic either, he asked me to marry him in bed - I was half asleep. A wedding is about your union, not how "nice" it is or how many things you purchased for it. My DH drives me crazy, but he loves me and he loves my kids. He is the best dad and partner I could ask for.

I know you are disappointed, but it seems like you are really connected to this man - focus on that instead. It is what will take you through the years together.

[cupunlvr]

The ceremony is just that....a ceremony. What matters is your relationship, that is what it is supposed to be about, not some huge reception for a gazillion guests. Why put yourself up for that kind of stress? it has no bearing on the future success of your marriage whatsoever......save your worries, you might need them for something else

[foggierbard9]

I had always dreamed of the big wedding....but it wasn't meant to be. My DH proposed to me on Christmas, I unwrapped my ring at a friends house, so not super romantic, but it was perfectly romantic for us.

I started planning the big huge wedding, but then I saw the cost, found out I was pregnant and decided that the big huge production isn't really what it was all about. We ended up getting married in a park. I had a friend who was an ordained minister, and in CA we only needed 1 witness, so we had another friend be the witness/photographer. I bought a dress and a shirt/tie for DH that matched. Picked out rings at Walmart that were inexpensive, but are still symbolic to what we believe, we did a unity sand, and I found the ceremony that I wanted. I also made our cake myself. Looking back maybe it would have been nice for family to have been there, but it was intimate, romantic, and personal because it was just us, our minister, a witness, and all was done before God. We thought we wanted a big party at our 1 year anniversary, but again we felt that was more of a celebration for everybody else rather than for us.

I think your wedding is what you make of it. Some people have huge weddings and don't enjoy them because they are so stressed that everything will work out. Others have small, intimate weddings that are not very expensive and thoroughly enjoy the event because there is little to no stress.

I can understand that you are upset that it isn't working out how you dreamed, but not everything does work as planned. If there are certain parts of the wedding of your dreams that you just can't do without, then try to do those, but cut back in other areas. Don't get so stressed that it isn't what you perfectly planned, but enjoy being with the man you love and doing a ceremony that you will both enjoy even if it isn't a huge event.

[MamaCas]

A big wedding won't make the marriage. You guys will. As long as the two of you are in love and happy, that's all that matters. My DH's parents tried to pressure us into this big, fancy wedding at the botanical gardens. They pushed the issue so much that we decided to call my uncle who is a minister and get married in my mom's living room. Total cost: about $40. My mom decorated the house with little wedding things she got at the dollar store and cooked dinner for everyone. We only had about 10 people there, including us. It was very magical. :)

[Smee]

I may be the only woman who never dreamed of a fairytale wedding as a little girl and it's not a desire that ever evolved. I got married in jeans, sneakers and a sweatshirt in front of a judge at the courthouse. People seem to expect brides to wear white and I don't think I could have gotten through that with a straight face. Anyway, it was basically, "yeah, whatever, I do." Ah, the romance.

20 years later, we're still happy, though, and life is great. I don't regret for a moment not having that fairytale wedding. I've never understood them, frankly; I'm all about simplifying life and avoiding stress, and that really seems like a huge stress inducer. No, thanks.

I'm sorry things aren't going the way you'd wanted. I hope you're able to find some happy middle ground. I think big weddings and all the hype that goes with them are way overrated anyway.

[mamamanda]

I have to tell you, I've BEEN in your shoes. After being divorced for 12 years, I married the man of my dreams! While he is THE SWEETEST husband anyone could ever wish for, I did not get the romantic, showy proposal OR the fairy tale wedding.

Thought for sure the proposal would be Christmas, New Years' Eve, Valentine's Day, trips to Vegas to visit his parents, trips to his hometown in Alabama... never happened. He finally proposed to me on my birthday after all the festivities, just the two of us. "So, you wanna marry me?" I found my ring, took him with me to buy it. Started planning the big wedding and reception at my parents' lakeside clubhouse. Put down the deposit, hired a photog, florist, bakery...

We scrapped it all and got married at the courthouse in Brevard Co., Florida during a hurricane and hopped on a cruise to The Bahamas, dodging another hurricane. Had the time of our lives, and the best party in our big back yard when we returned!

While he is not the "showy" romantic, he is truthfully my dream come true! He is the BEST father to my 3 teenagers (from my first marriage) I could ever imagine, the HARDEST working man I have ever met, the most GENUINE, SWEETEST man I know! He is my BEST FRIEND. What more could I ask for?

I used to feel that same sadness you're feeling, thought I would never get over it. But, I have. Just make sure you are marrying the right man! If you do, you will look back with no regrets and fond memories of your non-traditional proposal and wedding. Trust me!!!

[cearhart]

I have to tell you, I've BEEN in your shoes. After being divorced for 12 years, I married the man of my dreams! While he is THE SWEETEST husband anyone could ever wish for, I did not get the romantic, showy proposal OR the fairy tale wedding.

Thought for sure the proposal would be Christmas, New Years' Eve, Valentine's Day, trips to Vegas to visit his parents, trips to his hometown in Alabama... never happened. He finally proposed to me on my birthday after all the festivities, just the two of us. "So, you wanna marry me?" I found my ring, took him with me to buy it. Started planning the big wedding and reception at my parents' lakeside clubhouse. Put down the deposit, hired a photog, florist, bakery...

We scrapped it all and got married at the courthouse in Brevard Co., Florida during a hurricane and hopped on a cruise to The Bahamas, dodging another hurricane. Had the time of our lives, and the best party in our big back yard when we returned!

While he is not the "showy" romantic, he is truthfully my dream come true! He is the BEST father to my 3 teenagers (from my first marriage) I could ever imagine, the HARDEST working man I have ever met, the most GENUINE, SWEETEST man I know! He is my BEST FRIEND. What more could I ask for?

I used to feel that same sadness you're feeling, thought I would never get over it. But, I have. Just make sure you are marrying the right man! If you do, you will look back with no regrets and fond memories of your non-traditional proposal and wedding. Trust me!!!

Thanks! He is the man of my dreams my heart melts every time he is arouns and I have 3 kids by my ex-husband as well to whom I was married to for 10 years. I guess I just thought it would be different this time. I am thinking maybe renting a hall and having the wedding and reception all in one place, no DJ just someone who can play CD's (he has lot's of friends) and a limo to the bar where we met. This probably seems odd, however a big part of us together is this dance club. He has been going there about 8 years, we know EVERYONE there and even have talked to the owner about reserving the pool table where we meet for a second reception. This is VERY important to me, I think this is my biggest thing I want. So maybe $1500.00 we could do about everything I want......