How to convince my mom to let me cook while she visits

[taylordvd]

Okay, I'm not very good at having what I say come across as nice, so I need some help with exactly what I should say. My mom is coming to visit in two days and she is convinced that she is going to cook while she is here. 15 years ago she was a GREAT cook, but now she is not that good at all. She doesn't cook anymore. She's lost her timing. She has a bad sense of when to start dinner in order for it to be ready at 5:30PM. (I have little kids and a late dinner turns into a nightmare.) Anyways, last year when she came to visit, some of the food was burned and some was undercooked and dinner was NEVER ready on time. I like to cook. I have been looking forward to cooking some good food this holiday season. So, how do I convince my mom that it would be a great idea to let me do all the cooking this year without telling her that her cooking is awful now. Oh and DH (who eats anything) said "your mom is NOT cooking this year".

[nateNnatsmommy]

ouch lol - I have no advice but can't wait to hear how it goes!

[chitownmelli]

Maybe you could tell her how much you have been practicing your cooking and that you would like to cook for her this time so you can show her.

I have the same problem with my dad. He is a good cook, but gets himself stressed out about the littlest things, like how many times to stir dough for dumplings --- when I go see him, I just tell him that I would like to cook for him for a change since he lives alone.

[jtow]

That made me laugh, my Mom got the same way in her later years. She would have every burner on high. 90% of what we had was burnt. She is no longer with us and everytime I burn something we have a good laugh and say "Mom taught me to do that" If I'm grilling out and it gets black we just say thats Mom piece. Enjoy the time with your Mom and watch the burners very carefully.

[CW&M Mom]

Send her a nice certificate in the mail....telling her for Christmas you are going to do all the cooking while she is here...that way she has time to play with the grandkids.

[hbaqueen]

Just tell her that you want her to relax and enjoy her vacation...

If that doesnt work sneak and start dinner when shes not paying attention...

Prep and pre-cook as much as you can...

Make things she doesnt know how to cook? LOL That way you can say oh Im trying this new recipe..

Go out for dinner a few times...

And do let us know how it turned out!

[tmsmalley]

In my family we never had this issue. I started doing all the cooking at age 11 because mom was a terrible cook and hated to do it. We always said I learned to cook in self-defense! It can be a very big issue for people however. So, try something like:


Mom, this your holiday and your present from me. Please be gracious and let me give it to you. I love to see you playing with the kids and I love if you want to sit and talk to me while I do it... It is really important to me to be able to show you how well I can do it from all the things you taught me.

Good luck!
Tess

[MaryMary]

You may understand her urge to cook for you as an outcry to be needed by her grownup independent daughter. Does she lives alone? Are you the only child of hers? Does she have any close friend, male or female?
When it's time to make dinner you can
1. Send her shopping just an hour or so before you think you need to start.
2. Ask her friend to call her and keep a long conversation with her while you can cook.
3. Ask your kids to beg grandma to read them a story, to play a really long game.
4. If you have relatives nearby you can ask them to invite her for an hr or so when you'll cook.
Anything in particular she likes to do? she can teach your kids how to do what she likes if this is knitting, crafting, etc. Keep her busy and do not announce time when you'll start food prep.
that's what I can think about now.

[taylordvd]

You may understand her urge to cook for you as an outcry to be needed by her grownup independent daughter. Does she lives alone? Are you the only child of hers? Does she have any close friend, male or female?
When it's time to make dinner you can
1. Send her shopping just an hour or so before you think you need to start.
2. Ask her friend to call her and keep a long conversation with her while you can cook.
3. Ask your kids to beg grandma to read them a story, to play a really long game.
4. If you have relatives nearby you can ask them to invite her for an hr or so when you'll cook.
Anything in particular she likes to do? she can teach your kids how to do what she likes if this is knitting, crafting, etc. Keep her busy and do not announce time when you'll start food prep.
that's what I can think about now.

You figured my mom out pretty well. Until a month ago she lived by herself for 10 years. Her current living arrangement, staying with friends, is temporary. I'm not her only child; I have one brother. But we are about it. Her parents are no longer living. Her sister that she is closest to lives far away. (We do too.) She doesn't have a big support system so she is probably looking for validation. Cooking used to be her thing, but not anymore. So, I probably just need to find something that she is still good at. Oh and no family near by. My brother is the closest - a two hour train ride.

Everyone suggestions are good (and funny). I'll keep everyone updated on how it goes. She comes tomorrow, but dinner will be already taken care of. Oh and did I mention that she is here for TWO weeks!

[taylordvd]

Enjoy the time with your Mom and watch the burners very carefully.