Confused Need Help

[CW&M Mom]

A lot of companies will forgo the deposit...if you can proove that you've been paying your utilities on time.

We had to get a "letter of credit" from one of our utilities before we moved...stating we'd paid on time for the last 12 months...and they would fax that to the current utility..and they would waive the deposit.

[QponClippinQueen]

I haven't had them in my name ever.. I think.. Unless my mom (who did this and it bothered me) would put my name on utilities when I was younger (under 18).

But other than that since I was 18 I never had them in my name they have always been in my ex dh or my Df name.

Thanks though there is a place that helps with deposit. They can waive/reduce it drastically. So we will see.

[BRG]

Find your local woman's shelter, or the nearest one you can so you know where it is. Doesn't mean you need to go now, but at least find out where it is. Law enforcement can tell you. You and the kids can run there, even with nothing but the clothes on your back if it gets to it, but you need a place to run. Don't give him that $, but use it for your own needs. Even if he isn't sure you're leaving, don't add fuel to the fire and let on as though you are. Act totally normal, no extra sweetness and no extra bitterness. Do not give him any cause for suspicion. You know he can turn on a dime and blame you for the slightest thing and it is only a matter of time until he gets more aggressive than he is.

When you find the women's shelter, ask their advice on how/when to leave. Ask them to help you plan your financial way out. These are caring ladies who want to help you and are there for that very purpose. They can direct you to resources that may exist and you may not know about. But do not wait for the next big blowup before checking out the shelter. Do it as soon as you can.

[Ellec565]

R ~ Realize if it was going to change for the better, it would have by now.
U ~ Understand you have an obligation to provide a safe home for DS.
N ~ Never question your "get out" instinct, just do it!

You have the groundwork done, don't back out of this out of fear/love/guilt/obligation. I waited two years after being DONE w/my ex's treatment of me to finally get out. Two WASTED years I could have been happy/peaceful. Good luck, help is always available to those willing to seek it out.

[Kenzey's Mom]

I really hope you leave on the 20th. I know from personal experience that when you love someone so much one nice word from them can make you forget everything bad they did.

I was in the same situation as you about 7 months ago. One day I just could not take it anymore, and took my DD and left a 7 year marriage. I never told anyone what I went through during those 7 years but I was really broken emotionally at that point and terrified. I even posted on HCW before I left home, and the support from everyone was such an inspiration to move forward.

Things have not been easy, (my situation was a little different because I am/was pregnant at the time- something I never mentioned on here before) but I go to bed with DD right next to me and I feel safe which is worth more to me than anything in this world.

[Cynthiabutterfly]

Please update us if you can.... I am praying for you.

[joshmamabear]

I've read your post where he gave you a nice cellphone as gift. Seems like you're both working on the problem? I hope the honeymoon stage lasts longer than you expect. Take care.

[QponClippinQueen]

Update Posted