What should I do? The pressure is getting to me & I think I'm losing my mind LOL

[justmeagain]

My DD is going to 5 years old on Nov 11th. Now when I say 5, she actually seems older than her age and she actually plays better with older kids. She is a definitely NOT a girly girl. She is NOT a dress up, hair done up, finger nail polish kind of girl. She is a bug loving, toad kissing, mud rolling girl. She is very independent. She has ALWAYS loved animals. Luckily when the abused animal commercials come on she runs and hides now which is improved over her becoming completely hysterical.
Anyways. It has been over a year when we adopted 2 male guinea pigs off free cycle. She has taken very good care of them and she still to this day holds them and plays with them. I was actually surprised and fully expected that would grow tired of them and forget about them and DH and I would be the ones taking care of them...........but that has not happened. And if the guinea pigs has a potty on the floor, she cleans it up........she does not get grossed out or ever give us a hard time about that. She has a way with animals. For example, there was this stray cat that DH and I could not even get close too. DD told us that she held the cat. DH and I did NOT believe her.......until one day she came walking in the house holding the cat! 2 houses down from ours they feed stray cats. She was playing at their house and the mother (linda) came and told me how she was surprised that the kittens let my DD hold them because her kids could not. This was without me saying anything about her love for animals. She is always asking people to pet their pets. She does not care if the animal is 5 times the size of her. She is not afraid . At Meijers she is obsessed with the lobster tank. The nice worker there took a GIANT one out of the tank. The worker was super surprised when she actually touched it and wanted to hold it LOL. And instead of the toy store, her most favorite place in the whole world to go is to pet smart. Anyways..........she has been begging and begging and begging for a cat for her birthday. I have tried everything I can think of.........I even showed her these crazy expensive toys that I would never get her in a million years just to see what she would pick. I would say do you want Xtoy or a cat..........the answer has never changed, it has always been cat. Except yesterday when she said........"mom, you can get me a pogo stick instead of a cat." I was surprised and said really? And she said "yes because I know we can't afford a cat even though you would really like to get me one so I will get a POGO stick instead." I would like NOTHING more than to get her a cat because I know she would take good care of it. Now I have been SUPER strong in saying NO but now my DH is wearing me down too! He wants a cat too and thinks it would be a good birthday present for her. But here is the problem! With couponing, yes I could get an ENDLESS supply of free cat food and treats. I have never looked for a deal on litter though and I have never heard of anyone on here getting it for free. But if the cat needed to go to the vet.....there is NO way we could afford it. I can't even afford my own medical bills! And with DH being laid off, I'm not even sure where we may end up. So financially things are absolutely a huge mess and there is SO much stress it is unbelievable. I want to encourage the animal lover in her but I do not want to be irresponsible either. I feel bad because she has no siblings or anything. I can't believe my DH wants a cat too, he says he just misses having an animal And because I'm outnumbered, it is beginning to wear me down. What should I do? Talk some sense into me!


Here are some fun pictures of my frog loving DD

[Cynthiabutterfly]

I guess I'm going to be devil's advocate- I have 3 cats too, 9 and 10 years old now. The vet bills are really not that bad, shots can be done for $6 when they bring the mobile around, and my cats have always been indoor cats which was required by the shelter for a reason- they never get sick, and we've had fleas 3 times in 10 years but they always dissapear once it gets cold!

I'm just saying it CAN be expensive (I was paying full price for cat food and litter for YEARS!) but it doesn't have to be.

The most expensive thing for me was $90 adoption fee, and $65 for one of the cats we found as a kitten to get him spayed.

[SavinginOhio]

Stay strong! You are right in your desire to wait to get a family pet until you can afford all of the expenses that may go with it. It is not fair to an animal to take it home and not be able to give it proper medical care that it may need. As much as your daughter wants a cat, think how much it would hurt her if you had to eventually give the animal away because of its necessary medical bills. (Spaying, flea treatments, etc).

Maybe you can start a family cat fund that your daughter can help contribute to by doing chores or errands, and eventually when you have a sum of money in reserve for medical bills you could get a cat? Maybe she (with a parent's help) could pet sit in the neighborhood to earn a little money and be near the animals she loves?

You obviously love your dd very much, and you are giving her a great lifelong gift by teaching her that responsible pet ownership means being able to take care of all the pet's needs.

[SyLph211]

I hear what you are saying and totally understand the hurt you are feeling in knowing how badly your child wants a cat. At the moment I would seriously advise against getting an animal. Yes, you can get free treats/cat food and litter is fairly cheap if there are coupons out for it. If for some reason beyond using a mobile vet for shots, the cat needed medical attention, you would not be able to provide that care. The cat could possible suffer in pain or die due to not receiving that care and it is not fair to the animal nor your child. Tell her that once your guys get back on your feet that you will check into getting a cat for her. She sounds like a really smart/great little girl!!!

We are dealing with the loss of our doggie that was hit by a car in front of my 3 year old. He is devestated and so wants another doggie but at the moment we are just finally getting back on our feet from having serious money problems and know that it is not the right time for any more animals. It is easy to get an animal but extremely hard to give one away!

Good luck!

[manders13]

Crazy cat lady here! LOL

If you go to a rescue shelter, usually they already have all their shots and stuff.

I'll be honest, not all my cats have theirs. Only the males, and the 2 i brought home from the shelter. The rest, don't have shots or anything other then being fixed.


Litter is expensive yes BUT you won't go through a ton of it. I go through a 28lb pail a week lol...

Usually you get get it cheap (Cat Pride 3.99 at walmart AC)

As for food, i recommend either Iams or Purina.. I have enough IAMS and purina kitten chow for atleast a year.


Toys- Ah, I don't mess with toys unless its christmas. Then they each get a nip bag and a few jungle toys. Usually they find great amusement in chasing the dogs lol


If your worried about vet bills, i know there is health insurance for animals. I can't afford it because well it would be $350 for all my animals but it really was in expensive if you didnt' have a zoo like us lol

[hellokittygirl]

Aww, your DD sounds so much like me when I was little. I've always loved animals. I have a big heart for animals of all kinds and I feel like I've got some kind of connection with them. I remember watching all those National Geographic videos over and over again. When I was a kid I never wanted to play with dolls or do other "girly" things, and my parents worried about me. (Don't worry, I turned out alright! )

One thing that really gives me a lot of joy is volunteering at the local animal shelter. I know they let kids volunteer if they are accompanied by an adult. Maybe that could be something to look into? It may be an option.

[oceanbreeze]

please do not get a cat if you can't afford your own bills. There is a chance you wind up with a kitty who has an underlying health problem that crops up later and can cost thousands to fix it. Let lone the yearly visits and spay/neutering....plus you might get a cat that needs to be declawed.

It is far easier to say no NOW, than to have to give up a precious loved member of your family later over financial reasons.

If your daughter loves animals so much, see if you can get her to volunteer at the local shelters, the cats there need someone with a heart big as hers.

[manders13]

please do not get a cat if you can't afford your own bills. There is a chance you wind up with a kitty who has an underlying health problem that crops up later and can cost thousands to fix it. Let lone the yearly visits and spay/neutering....plus you might get a cat that needs to be declawed.

It is far easier to say no NOW, than to have to give up a precious loved member of your family later over financial reasons.

If your daughter loves animals so much, see if you can get her to volunteer at the local shelters, the cats there need someone with a heart big as hers.

well i guess i should get rid of my zoo. i can't afford to run my cats to the vet, and as i said, most of them have never had shots


declawing is CRUEL AND INHUMANE PERIOD

[puakinikini]

I sympathize, my 4-year-old daughter passionately wants a cat right now - it is all she talks about. Our oldest is allergic and our beloved dog feels the need to chase every cat she sees - so it is not in the cards. I am glad that I have very good ecuses for why we can't get one because hearing her talk about how much she wants one is not easy. So I feel for you. I do agree though with the others that right now it sounds like the timing is not right financially for your family.