I had a miscarriage on Monday . . .

[Sweet_Southern_Mama]

I guess I should say I've been having one since Monday. I was only 5-6 weeks. I went to the health department to get on Tenncare and the test came out negative. At first I thought it was funny because i knew I was pregnant. I had to have my Dr's office fax over my blood test results. My doctor called Sunday afternoon worried bc of the negative test. I went to get another blood test on Monday during my lunch break. Then at 2:30 I started bleeding and we went to the doctor's office. My pregnancy hormone levels were at 6.5.

I guess this is one of those things that you think only happens to other people until it happens to you. I don't know if I'm getting better or worse. I think I'm doing fine for a while, I do housework, go to work, run errands, do some couponing. Then all of a sudden I have a second to think and I burst into tears.

How long does it take to feel normal again? I'm sad and I know I'll never forget, but I just want to be able to move forward. Right now I don't feel like that will ever happen. How can I work through this feeling?

The worst part is having to tell people. I feel like such a fool for telling everyone we were expecting so soon. And I know they are just trying to be helpful now, but some of their reactions I just don't know how to react to.

I went into work and one of my coworkers said to me "Don't worry, you'll have another one." I'm sorry but that just doesn't make it any better.

I realize this happens to lots of women, but as many of you know, you don't know how devastating it is until it happens to you.

[beth119]

There isan't anything anyone can say to make you feel better. But I promise you, it will get better. A little each day.

I've been there. ***BIG BIG HUGS***

Make sure you get plenty of rest and stay hydrated. ANything that might seem abnormal... CALL YOUR DR RIGHT AWAY.

[aquene27]

HUGS!! You poor sweetheart! It must be devastating for you. I just want to send hugs and the most peaceful, wonderful thoughts your way.

I don't know what you're going through, honestly, but I know how I would feel. You wanted this child. It was and will always be loved by you. I know people want to help and make it better by saying you'll have another, but right now, you wanted THIS one. It hurts and you cry and thats absolutely normal.

If you see depression really setting in, you may want to consider counseling to help deal with the grief. You did lose someone very precious to you and that takes time to heal.

again, sending big, warm hugs and eventually, it'll get better. You're in my prayers.

[SouthernBelle5]

Sorry . . . I have no words, just

[SLP99]

I had a very similar experience. I had had 2 children without any 'issues'. Then I found out I was pregnant again-very excited and told everyone at work. I hadn't had any problems before, so I thought this pregnancy would be fine too. Then it happened-it was awful telling my husband and then my coworkers. Nothing anyone said made me feel better. For me, I ended up pregnant the next month and delivered a healthy baby boy 9 months later. That was five years ago. I still think of that little one from time to time, but then I think about my youngest-Ryan. I wouldn't have my Ryan if I hadn't lost that baby and I can't imagine life without him. Don't feel like a fool for telling everyone (I beat myself up about that too) you were just really excited and wanted to share that with everyone. Looking back now some people said some really inappropriate things..., but I think they were just uncomfortable and trying to be helpful. I know it's a cliche-but I do think time helps. Please know that I am thinking of you and that you are in my prayers.

[kval07]

I'm so sorry. I can understand how awkward it is to tell people you are no longer expecting. Please don't take their responses too personal. Some people just don't know what to say to something like that and just say the wrong thing.

[christinanny]

Sending hugs and Praying for you! I have had 2 miscariages and a tuble pregnancy before :( having my now 7 year old daughter. (after I was told I could not have kids). I feel your pain and I do not agree w/ the statements don't worry about it, you'll have another one :(.... I really can't say that it will be easy for the next 9 months.. because for me it was not. I would try to stau buzy as you are and you will have your moments like you have been :( I am sorry to hear this news. I know it's not easy. *HUGGS* to you!

[puakinikini]

I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

[kimandkathess]

Everyone deals with it differently. I had a miscarriage and so did my mother. We both handled it in different ways. Hers was a little harder because she was so much farther along. I was only 7 weeks. I just think it depends on who you are.

[greenrays]

It is hard having to "untell" everyone. We announced my 2nd pregnancy at my ds's 1st bday party(I was 7 weeks), I started bleeding the very next day.

I found out that this seems to be WAY more common than we think. I was actually shocked at how many people I know have had miscarriages.

We all grieve in different ways. It's perfectly ok to bust out crying in the weirdest places, it's ok to not cry, it's ok to be sad for months and it's ok to be sad for 1 month only. I think as a mom, you will always think about what you did...why did it happen. Was it that 1 coke I drank, was it the coffee in the morning that did it, was it when I was walking fast and I should have been taking it easy. Mom guilt is something that is a part of us and will never go away. I think it's what makes us so soft :)

You'll get through this, but for now just grieve how you feel best. Cry if it makes you feel better and think about the baby and your loss. Then when you feel it's ok, pick yourself up and decide what to do. Do you want to try again (after waiting the appropriate time), do you want to put it off a bit....etc.

Moving on doesn't mean you forgot, you'll never forget what could have been or what might have happened. I still think about it, think about what if that baby was the girl I could have had.... what if's are hard.

You will be ok, give yourself time. Hours turn to days and days turn to weeks, as time passes it gets easier.

People don't know what to say most of the time, just ignore them if it's something that is hurtful or go ahead and cuss them out!