Frustrated with my daughter's teacher re Family Day

[DebbieNIU]

Sorry, but she didn't do the work. It isn't going to kill her to sit at the homework table at lunchtime. It isn't like she wasn't fed. It is unfortunate there was a misunderstanding about the date, but your daughter has to learn that homework is due when it is due. Like at work. The project is due at the end of the month. No one cares if you had a hiccup or misunderstanding. I know that sounds harsh, but this is a great life lesson and you should support the teacher in it while commiserating with your daughter that it was an unfortunate mistake.

Also wanted to point out that either she had lots of company with other people that made the same mistake or everyone else got their work done. If she had company, it certainly wasn't personal and if she was the only one, then come on- everyone else managed to do it despite all the same obstacles we all have and without confusion on the dates.

Tess

OP, I agree with you completely. She needs to learn the responsibility now to help her in the future. As for consulting with the principal before the teacher, I think that was wrong. I think you should have talked to the teacher first.

[wooliswonderful]

OP, I agree with you completely. She needs to learn the responsibility now to help her in the future. As for consulting with the principal before the teacher, I think that was wrong. I think you should have talked to the teacher first.

We did talk to the teacher first and give her an opportunity to speak her side and clear things up. She went in circles and and told me info I knew to be incorrect. Later that day I spoke directly with the principal.

[NJOYURLIFE]

Ok, am I missing something here? Everyone keeps posting about how she didn't do the work, blah, blah, blah. But the postings that I read state that she DID do the work that she could do without having the ACTUAL dinner and that the handouts AND the website said that it was due on Tuesday NOT Monday. Which even if those two means of communication didn't say Tuesday, HOW could a student do homework and hand it on Monday when the assignment is based on a meal that is not scheduled to take place until Monday evening?

Sometimes I wonder about my comprehension skills when reading these posts.....
cuz I just don't get people's responses sometimes.

[nanshaw2001]

NJOY thanks for your post...it clarified alot for me. There was homework due but there is no way to make the dinner nite mandatory. I see often that teachers are put under pressure to " conform completely" to programs that are set forth. The teacher may have been wrong but may have not really been punishing....she may have only
been trying to have the "class participation" level where it was wanted/required. Although it is 5th grade....it is still elementary school. Hate to see this kind of pressure on the kids or the parents. I have teens and a kindergartener. At the elementary school they have so many programs/special things going on they want me there about one night every other week. Sometimes our family time at home is more productive. Best wishes to the op and everyone who responded!

[wooliswonderful]

NJOY thanks for your post...it clarified alot for me. There was homework due but there is no way to make the dinner nite mandatory. I see often that teachers are put under pressure to " conform completely" to programs that are set forth. The teacher may have been wrong but may have not really been punishing....she may have only
been trying to have the "class participation" level where it was wanted/required. Although it is 5th grade....it is still elementary school. Hate to see this kind of pressure on the kids or the parents. I have teens and a kindergartener. At the elementary school they have so many programs/special things going on they want me there about one night every other week. Sometimes our family time at home is more productive. Best wishes to the op and everyone who responded!

When we spoke to the teacher she kept using the word punishment. Not consequence or anything else. She said sitting at the homework table during lunch was the punishment for any missing work under any circumstances. I then asked her how the student is treated if there is a death in the family or other emergency and an assignment is late and she said they'd have to sit at the table during lunch working too, that she was worried what the other students would think if she made exceptions.

The way my husband and I figure it is fine to offer an opportunity for students who may finish lunch early to study instead of play outside.
We do not think any child in school should be forced during lunch to finish school work, for any reason. These are growing children who need the time to eat properly and clear their heads a bit before going full speed again. If the student has late work to turn in, that's what study hall is for and if the student is clearly in need of it detention.

Our fifth graders actually aren't in the elementary school anymore. They attend the middle school which is fifth through eighth grade with all the class switching and such. This teacher is her Homeroom/Health teacher.

[GlueStick]

Sorry, but she didn't do the work. It isn't going to kill her to sit at the homework table at lunchtime. It isn't like she wasn't fed. It is unfortunate there was a misunderstanding about the date, but your daughter has to learn that homework is due when it is due. Like at work. The project is due at the end of the month. No one cares if you had a hiccup or misunderstanding. I know that sounds harsh, but this is a great life lesson and you should support the teacher in it while commiserating with your daughter that it was an unfortunate mistake.

Also wanted to point out that either she had lots of company with other people that made the same mistake or everyone else got their work done. If she had company, it certainly wasn't personal and if she was the only one, then come on- everyone else managed to do it despite all the same obstacles we all have and without confusion on the dates.

Tess

Tess, I agree with you. Everyone needs to learn that there are consequences for every action. If I get caught speeding, I get a ticket. It doesn't matter if I'm speeding because my mother or my sister told me the wrong speed limit and gave me misinformation, I didn't follow the rules and have to take the consequences.

[TheWoman]

Tess, I agree with you. Everyone needs to learn that there are consequences for every action. If I get caught speeding, I get a ticket. It doesn't matter if I'm speeding because my mother or my sister told me the wrong speed limit and gave me misinformation, I didn't follow the rules and have to take the consequences.

But if the sign says the speed limit is 45 even when it is only 35 the judge will rule in your favor.

[NJOYURLIFE]

But if the sign says the speed limit is 45 even when it is only 35 the judge will rule in your favor.

I really think this post best exeplifies this situation. The only thing to add here is that the judge (teacher) was the one who posted the sign with the incorrect info. And if this were a true life situation and the judge did NOT rule in your favor and issued a ticket anyway, then I am pretty sure that most people would argue before they went out and paid that ticket with the correct arguement that the judge was doing it on purpose to increase ticket fee collections.

Of course, I am cynical about judges because I live in the city where the judges were accussed of "cash for kids".