I am sad......going to file divorce papers tomorrow...

[cearhart]

I am going to meet with a para-legal tomorrow morning to file for divorce.We have been apart for almost 2 years, and this is what I wanted but I am having a very hard time with it. My soon to be ex-husband never wanted to be around his family (me and the kids) he would get up after the kids went to school and come home after they went to bed. He told me after we split up that he purposely would not come home because he did not want to be around me. So now he has a new girlfriend and hardly sees his own kids,he sees his girlfriend EVERYDAY and sees his kids 1 day a week for like an hour. I am sad because I feel like I did something wrong when we were together I wonder how I could have been better, or could I have been? Was it me? It is just hard to handle because he sees her so much but did not want to be with his family. She has a little girl that he babysits all the time too so it's not like he doesn't like kids. I have a boyfriend as well that lives with me and loves me very much he does more for me than anyone I have ever known, so why am I so sad?:sad: Why is this so hard? Did anyone else feel so empty when they got divorced? :shrug7:sorry this was so long I am just feeling blah..... Thanks for reading

[summermay]

[kittensqueak]

HUGS!!!

I know that any loss is always hard - however it comes.

I hope that you + BF + kids get to do something together soon, even a visit to a park, picnic or watching the stars and remember that ya'll are special because ya'll are all loved by each other - your family!!

Good luck...

[Mrs H]

I feel for you and your situation. When I filed for divorce, I as well wanted the divorce. My ex was more interested in cocaine than anything or anyone else. I felt like I let so many people down when I filed for divorce, most especially my son. BUT, after all these years later, I realize that filing for divorce, and making as good a life for my son and myself was FAR better in the long run, than staying with a man who cared more for drugs than his family.
You will go thru a whole host of different feelings, but honey, years later when your ex finally comes to his senses, and chances are good some day he will, and you and your kids are doing well without him, he will be the one who will feel the biggest regret. He may not admit it, but then again, he just very well may.
The best thing you can do is love your kids, give them as good a life as you can, never bad mouth your ex in front of your kids, don't jump into a relationship just because you want someone in your life, hold your head high and just love the heck out of your kids and show them mommy is strong, willing to stand up for herself and her babies and is the one who was always there for them. Your kids will grow up to know that mommy was there for them, and they will make their own decisions on how or what their dad did for them or with them or not.

Stay strong.
Many blessings and prayers for you and your kids.

Kelly

[hotcouponmama]

I've not been divorced, but I've had other loss where you've cut ties with people who were supposed to love you, take care of you, and be your family. I think even if you wanted it, closing the book on that section of your life leaves you a little emptier than before. But that's not to say that you can't be filled back up. It's just going to hurt for a bit.

You can spend the rest of your life wondering what you did wrong, or take it for what it is and realize that there were probably faults on both sides, but learn from the relationship and do better in the next one. Succumbing to self-doubt and low self-esteem isn't an option - you have kids to raise who clearly are going to need a strong mother in their life since their dad seems to have no interest. And that's tough. My dad left when I was 6, then came back into my life when I was 19, and then basically abandoned me all over again. As a kid, it's a tough pill to swallow. So be strong for them, pick yourself up, and know that in the long run, life will be better without him.

[jillynoodle]

such good things people have said here...i just wanted to add you cannot control how you feel, sometimes feelings have to run their course. you can control you actions and fromwhat i have read you are doing what you needed to for your family. feelings come and go i do hope the day comes soon where you can wake up and look in the mirror and be proud you had the strength to do the right thing for your children and get on enjoying your new life and be so grateful you arent married to someone like that anymore..i know it doesnt matter but i am happy for u, take care

[couponlover]

HUGS to you!

All the best to you and your new relationship and your children!! Everything will be alright.

Take good care.

[couponwitch]

I know that you are looking at this and in your head hearing what he has said...taking all that and internalizing all this. It is a very natural thing to do...for whatever reason, we think we are to blame, we lacked something, we did or didn't something, we could have done more.....If we were just that powerful, if we really could just change that person by our actions....
You need to know this....whatever the problem he had...it has nothing to do with you... it is his problem! "The faults that we find in others are faults that we do not recognize in ourselves." He may be all with this new woman...it probably will not last.

[Ggbwg]

Hugs to you ! I an't really say anything that hasn't already been said. So i am just going to leave it w/ that. I hope you can find comfort.

[Lucky1307]

Good luck today. I did leave my ex-husband after 8 years of marriage and 2 wonderful DS's. We divorced 2 years later. And although it is what I wanted it did hurt and there were many times I wondered what I could have done different or better. I still get angry now that he is remarried and has started his "new" family because of the time and dedication he gives them(me and my DS's never earned that). But I too live with my SO and he takes wonderful care of me and my DS's. This is only one story of your life, this chapter is closing, but there will be many more better ones to come.