My fiance is going to Iraq

[christina1286]

Yeah, I plan to take up some new hobbies or something to keep me busy besides my schooling, but I just hope he will be ok.

[Mama Stu]

My son is on his second tour right now in Iraq. The first time he was gone I didn't watch any news at all. Fortunately, he is able to be on the computer a lot and I am able to chat with him quite a bit.
It was rough on him this time because the day he left for Iraq his wife told him that she didn't want to be married anymore. I was really upset with her for that. I thought her timing sucked big time. The divorce is final now and he is alright, but it really tore him apart for awhile.
I don't really have any good advice for you, just know that other people care and I will put you and your fiance in my prayers.

[christina1286]

I recently went to go visit my fiance in Fort Stewart, GA and when i first saw him all I could do was burst into tears, on my way over there I kept telling myself I wasn't going to cry, but I just couldn't help it and leaving wasn't easy either! My fiance is currently in the desert in California for training (to simulate Iraq) and its hard that I can't talk to him a lot since his phone doesn't have good signal out there! He's coming back to Houston November 21st (my dad's bday) but he is only gonna be here for 2 weeks, and he's not too happy about that since he's been saving his vacation days so when he comes back in November, he wanted to stay longer, so does anyone know who can he talk to, to find out if he can stay longer? I really hop ehe didn't save his vacation days for nothing!

[MaMaHaHa]

Hi Christina,
My son has just finished one delpoyment to the "litterbox" (Army Mom nickname for the "Sandbox" aka Iraq) and is looking at leaving in the spring for Afghanistan...bad words. He and his girlfriend got married on his mid-tour leave...amazing how quickly you can pull off a wedding with the help of some friends.

anyway-- A few tips...if you don't have a prayer routine...take some time and develop one that fits your belief system and your schedule. My job requires daily travel..so, the radio is off and I'm praying for Soldier Safety throughout the day. When my son was deployed I had his pictures, and my other Soldiers taped on my dash and it helped me...especially those first few months.

Take lots and lots of pictures of the two of you at your favorite places and have a couple of girlfriends take lots and lots of pictures of you-even doing "normal" things like driving and shopping. One of the funniest pictures my DIL sent my son was a picture of some really expensive shoes she and her friends had found shopping...she captioned it "My boyfriend is fighting, so I am shopping." He thought it was funny. So-think about the things you do that tickle him and make some funny picture cards. Nothing "revealing," of course, because his bunk-mates will know all his business.

Pictures, cards and letters of encouragement are a must for our Soldiers...and in this case-quantity counts. Cut out funny newspaper artcles...and news from home or about his friends...anything to help keep him connected to you and home. The guys do have access to the internet and generally communication through the computer is fairly good...but there is nothing like a love letter from home with swirly letters, hearts and the scent of your favorite perfume. :)

One reason I do coupon with a "serious" attitude is the amount of stuff I send over in Soldier Boxes could not have happened without the blessings of a 75% off clearance item with a really good coupon. I have been able to get personal hygiene items dirt cheap, and often free (well-except for paying tax). So, that is one thing I do to help pass the time...the US Post Office website allows you to order the flat-rate "America Supports You" boxes and the necessary customs forms for free...which is great because they come right to your home. Right now flat rate fee is $12.95...pretty cheap because you can cram a lot in those boxes...and there is no weight restriction.

There are many Soldiers who receive little or no support from home...so, whatever you send---send a little extra because they will share with their "Battle Buddies." Of everything I have sent...what seems to go over best is home-made cookies and brownies. If you wrap each item tightly in saran wrap and then pack in a container they will make the 7-10 day trip. Plus with coupons--again FREE stuff!

Now, once he get "boots on the ground," meaning he has safely arrived on site...it will take about three to four weeks for you to get his permanent APO address. Don't fret...they frequently have to take time to catch up with all their equipment and stuff, and get settled in their duty station. You want to have one personal hygiene box and one goodie box ready to take to the Post Office. Be super nice to the postamn there---you will want to ask for Priority Mail Tape...they will usually give you the two-pack roll. You will go through a ton of tape with those boxes...have your friends go also...and if you have long, fake fingernails---hmmm...managing to tape a Soldier Box may be a challenge.

When you write your letters, be sure to put the date on the back. Sometimes the mail is held up-so, he may get several letters at once...you will want to have some clue about the order in which to read them.

Finally--check out the internet...there are several web sites that cater to Army Moms, Army Wives, Army Girlfriends...that is a great place to not only chat with someone who is also in your shoes, but also get some ideas about what you can do here at home.

Yikes...didn't mean to write so much---but, I hope this helps!!!

MaMaHaHa (Army Mom)

[kval07]

Very well said!

Originally Posted by MaMaHaHa Hi Christina, My son has just finished one delpoyment to the "litterbox" (Army Mom nickname for the "Sandbox" aka Iraq) and is looking at leaving in the spring for Afghanistan...bad words. He and his girlfriend got married on his mid-tour leave...amazing how quickly you can pull off a wedding with the help of some friends. anyway-- A few tips...if you don't have a prayer routine...take some time and develop one that fits your belief system and your schedule. My job requires daily travel..so, the radio is off and I'm praying for Soldier Safety throughout the day. When my son was deployed I had his pictures, and my other Soldiers taped on my dash and it helped me...especially those first few months. Take lots and lots of pictures of the two of you at your favorite places and have a couple of girlfriends take lots and lots of pictures of you-even doing "normal" things like driving and shopping. One of the funniest pictures my DIL sent my son was a picture of some really expensive shoes she and her friends had found shopping...she captioned it "My boyfriend is fighting, so I am shopping." He thought it was funny. So-think about the things you do that tickle him and make some funny picture cards. Nothing "revealing," of course, because his bunk-mates will know all his business. Pictures, cards and letters of encouragement are a must for our Soldiers...and in this case-quantity counts. Cut out funny newspaper artcles...and news from home or about his friends...anything to help keep him connected to you and home. The guys do have access to the internet and generally communication through the computer is fairly good...but there is nothing like a love letter from home with swirly letters, hearts and the scent of your favorite perfume. :) One reason I do coupon with a "serious" attitude is the amount of stuff I send over in Soldier Boxes could not have happened without the blessings of a 75% off clearance item with a really good coupon. I have been able to get personal hygiene items dirt cheap, and often free (well-except for paying tax). So, that is one thing I do to help pass the time...the US Post Office website allows you to order the flat-rate "America Supports You" boxes and the necessary customs forms for free...which is great because they come right to your home. Right now flat rate fee is $12.95...pretty cheap because you can cram a lot in those boxes...and there is no weight restriction. There are many Soldiers who receive little or no support from home...so, whatever you send---send a little extra because they will share with their "Battle Buddies." Of everything I have sent...what seems to go over best is home-made cookies and brownies. If you wrap each item tightly in saran wrap and then pack in a container they will make the 7-10 day trip. Plus with coupons--again FREE stuff! Now, once he get "boots on the ground," meaning he has safely arrived on site...it will take about three to four weeks for you to get his permanent APO address. Don't fret...they frequently have to take time to catch up with all their equipment and stuff, and get settled in their duty station. You want to have one personal hygiene box and one goodie box ready to take to the Post Office. Be super nice to the postamn there---you will want to ask for Priority Mail Tape...they will usually give you the two-pack roll. You will go through a ton of tape with those boxes...have your friends go also...and if you have long, fake fingernails---hmmm...managing to tape a Soldier Box may be a challenge. When you write your letters, be sure to put the date on the back. Sometimes the mail is held up-so, he may get several letters at once...you will want to have some clue about the order in which to read them. Finally--check out the internet...there are several web sites that cater to Army Moms, Army Wives, Army Girlfriends...that is a great place to not only chat with someone who is also in your shoes, but also get some ideas about what you can do here at home. Yikes...didn't mean to write so much---but, I hope this helps!!! MaMaHaHa (Army Mom)

[christina1286]

Thank you everyone for all of your advice, this will definitley help me! I can't wait to see him, he will be back in Houston on the 21st of November, and I'm sooo excited!!

[loladooder99]

My husband is an Iraq veteran. The best advice I can give you is to enjoy every moment you get with your fiance and to maybe look into a support group for wives or woman who have men over in the war. Keeping yourself busy and having a support group of women who know what your going through will really help you. I hope he comes back safe and im sorry you have to go through this. Be strong.

[$dontleaveme]

Hey, did you ever get in contact with the Houston Marine Moms or the Blue Star Moms or some other group for support?

[christina1286]

No, I haven't gotten a chance to get in contact with them, I've trying to get a job and getting my schooling in order.

[Jenna26]

Hi Christina, I'm an Army wife too. I'm glad you will get to see your soldier soon - I will see mine shortly, too!

If you would like the names of two great military support groups, PM me. I have belonged to them for years, and they're wonderful!