ARGH! WWYD? w/DD 1st gr Teacher - ADHD etc

[shashabell]

I guess I am wondering about the part where you thought the teacher needed to go and meet with your daughters daughters. I never heard of that before and I certainly wouldn't expect it of my son's teacher.
You got the diagnosis, now move forward with the information you have from that and meet with the school personell to figure out what can be done to help your daughter at school.

If it helps to make you feel any better about the teacher not meeting with the doctors, think of it this way - would you expect the doctors to show up at school when you are having a conference with the teacher, principal, social worker, etc.?

[shashabell]

Well you can tell I"m tired by what I typed above. I wrote, "daughters daughter" when I meant "daughter doctor."

I guess I am wondering about the part where you thought the teacher needed to go and meet with your daughters doctor. I never heard of that before and I certainly wouldn't expect it of my son's teacher.
You got the diagnosis, now move forward with the information you have from that and meet with the school personell to figure out what can be done to help your daughter at school.

If it helps to make you feel any better about the teacher not meeting with the doctors, think of it this way - would you expect the doctors to show up at school when you are having a conference with the teacher, principal, social worker, etc.?

[smiles]

In reading this I can give my oppinion from the Special Educator's perspective. I think the teacher has done the right thing and done the best that she can overall.

THe homlinks assignment seems like it was your error and misunderstanding. I would really explain this to the teacher if it is brought up and say you didn't understand they were suppose to be turned in and that it is your fault so your child should not be required to redo them. Just make sure they are turned if from now on. I really do not like homework to just be given as busywork, I have some different views on homework and education but that is a different debate.

The teacher cannot make a diagnosis or even suggest medication for your child's ADHD. The teacher is only required to tell you her concerns that your child is not performing in class or behavior is interfearing with education, ect. Based on discussions with the teacher you can pursue further testing. Usually the teacher refers the child to getting tested for special education services within the school. All that is done through the school with a school psycologist. The teacher will have to fill out paperwork and work with the school officials doing the testing. If the child qualifies for special education services then a team which includes the classroom teacher, parent, school psycologist, and other school service professionals such as a speech therapist come together and write an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). The teacher is involved in that process because that this through the school, and the teacher is going to implement those services.

Some parents who are having troubles at home with their child may choose to get outside help and testing which sounds like what you did. Teachers can not diagnos, reccomend medication, or even make a family get a child tested for ADD. The only thing a teacher can do is tell you how your child is performing and the concerns they have. Once your child is medically diagnosed then they can qualify for Special Education services through the school and then you need to bring it up with the teacher and principal about the child qualifying for special education services and how to start that process. It helps if the outside medical help and the school staff are on the same page, but a teacher is not reequired to meet outside of school. The school would get a sub if it were a meeting involving school services, but this was an independent medical. It was good that the teacher asked how the meeting went it shows she cares about your child. I would talk to her and explain to her how the meeting went. The teacher has many other students in the class.

If you are concerned and confused about the special education process I would first talk to the teacher about the next step with your child. If you are still concerned talk to the building principal and they can explain the school's place in your child's education.

Hopefully you can get things resolved between you and the teacher and your child can get the help she needs.

[ATLmom]

Sounds like we have some very knowledgeable members here. I agree that the teacher is probably doing the best she can. I'm having difficulties with my DS's teacher right now as well. But I did not know that teachers were not allowed to talk about ADHD?! I even asked his teacher if she thought he had it and she just hemmed and hawed and wouldn't really answer me. I just thought she didn't want to deal with it.

Anyway, not to hi-jack your post but may I ask you what exactly was involved in getting the diagnosis from the specialist? Did your insurance pay for it? If not how much did it cost? Did you have to get a reference from the pediatrician first? I really don't know whom to talk to. Thanks for any info and good luck with DD!

[Lev8mysoul]

Start working toward getting an IEP set up with the school. There are plenty of acommodations that can be made to help her succeed in school and the school will have to follow them. Now that you have the diagnosis, it's a matter of getting the school involved in creating one, with your imput, to make things easier to handle for your dd.

[shashabell]

Start working toward getting an IEP set up with the school. There are plenty of acommodations that can be made to help her succeed in school and the school will have to follow them. Now that you have the diagnosis, it's a matter of getting the school involved in creating one, with your imput, to make things easier to handle for your dd.

I agree. I know this is all new to you and I remember when I first started going through all of this with my son I was overwhelmed. I can't tell you how many times I laid awake at night worried about what was going on. The first thing is ask for an IEP (Individual Education Plan). This will involve the teacher, principal, social worker, and you and maybe other specialists that the school district has. They will put your child through some testing to see exactly what is going on and they will make recommendations on what to do. You need to realize as I did that the school wasn't going to do anything that I DIDN'T give them permission to do. At first they wanted to put him in a different school, a class for autistic children and a special education class. I tried them out for him but they weren't the answers for him. I wanted to keep him in his general education class if at all possible. I was the one who said the apecial classes weren't for him (and some of the other teachers agreed) but in the end it was my decision not to have him in those classes. Then we tried a temporary one-on-one follow that child aid with him all day in his regular class until we could find an education plan that worked for him. Well, the follow that child aid was the answer. I pushed to get the aid to be his full time aid and sure enough it turned out that was the answer. He still has her with him and it's working out wonderfully. He is becoming less and less dependant on having her step in and redirect or help him when his behavior is uncontrollable. He's becoming more like everyone else in his class because the aid has been doing a great job and helping him learn socially acceptable behavior and self control.
So, I guess what I'm saying is:
-get an IEP
-let the school do their tests and evaluations and make their recommendations
-try their plans without committing to anything until you try everything (if you feel pressure at any meeting - ask to stop the meeting so you can think about it and meet again in a week or two)
-make suggestions if you don't like their plan
-if you find something that you like for your child, don't accept anything less
-and lastly, realize that this can be a lengthy process to find the right plan.

Best of luck to you. If you have any questions you can feel free to pm me.

[lbrown1618]

Sounds like we have some very knowledgeable members here. I agree that the teacher is probably doing the best she can. I'm having difficulties with my DS's teacher right now as well. But I did not know that teachers were not allowed to talk about ADHD?! I even asked his teacher if she thought he had it and she just hemmed and hawed and wouldn't really answer me. I just thought she didn't want to deal with it.

Anyway, not to hi-jack your post but may I ask you what exactly was involved in getting the diagnosis from the specialist? Did your insurance pay for it? If not how much did it cost? Did you have to get a reference from the pediatrician first? I really don't know whom to talk to. Thanks for any info and good luck with DD!

That is kinda how our teacher talked to us....i could tell she was dancing around the subject without coming right out and saying it. Even when i asked if that is what she thought, she replied with "talk to your ped".

Anywho....YES it was our ped that we went to first. He said it appeared from his quick 5 min interaction that she might have some attn issues. And referred us to the Center we went to. Our insurance DID cover it. It was a series of 6 visits, each one we had to pay our $20 co-pay for. So there was some oop. The center did their tests, wrote a report that was copied to the ped. Then we had to go back to our ped to get the actual script for meds.

Not sure what centers you might have, but your ped is the place to start. He can direct you from there.

[lbrown1618]

Thank you all for you input. Personal experiences as well as POVs from educators is very helpful. It has been eye-opening...I must admit I had tunnel-vision at first only seeing MY side of the situation