Wedding Frustrations

[navybaby1113]

Most of these frustrations are coming from my grandmother. A little back-story: She is the bossiest women ever and thinks everything has to be her way. An example, when they were visiting town, every time we went out to dinner, when my grandfather went to order, my grandmother would chime in and order for him.

Well, ever since my fiance and I got engaged, she has felt the need to put her opinion in on everything! The first was that we're going to hell because we're not getting married in a church. Actually we want to get married in a church, but just can't afford it. We're still having a preacher marry us though.

Today she started talking about how we shouldn't have a bar and that if we do it should be a cash bar because that's how every wedding she's been to has done. I personally think a cash bar is horribly tacky and would never ask my guests to pay for anything at my wedding. She tried to make me feel like an alcoholic because I wanted more than just champagne at my wedding (I hate champagne!).

The thing that has bugged me the most out of her comments is about my wedding dress. I found THE dress and sent pictures to my mom and MOH and they said they loved it. I went and bought it last week. I sent the picture to my grandmother and she told me she hated it and that it was too busy and made me look frumpy. I can't believe she had the nerve to tell a bride that her dress makes her look frumpy. Now, I can't get the little thought of my head that maybe the dress doesn't look as good on me as I think it does. The comments wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't already bought the dress, but after I buy the dress, if you don't like it, lie! I think it's horribly inconsiderate to tell a bride that her dress looks horrible on her. After this comment, I've already decided that I don't want her around me the morning before the ceremony. She will end up saying something and I will freak out more than I probably already will be.

Sorry this is so long, but I needed to vent.

[derketchup]

I like handling bossy people like this:

"I'm soooooo sorry we won't see you at the wedding"

wait for her confusion

"Oh. I just assumed because you don't approve, you won't be attending."

That usually shuts them up.

[lmcconne]

I theorize the reason your grandmother feels so free to grace everyone with her judgement, as no one has the backbone to tell her the information is of no value. You have given her the power. Take the power back!

[Andra]

Is she paying for part of the wedding? If not, there is no reason for you to share any details with her and she has NO SAY in what you do. I would not tell her anything else about what you are doing. If she asks questions be vague or tell her it's going to be a surprise or something.

Grandmother: "What type or cake are you having, it better not be chocolate, because you know I hate chocolate...blah..blah..blah."

navybaby: "Uh Huh. I'll have to think about that."

Grandmother: "What type of flowers are you having?"

navybaby: "The living type"

Remember to give her as little info as possible even if she asks you questions. It sounds like no matter what you tell her she will tear it down some how, so the best option, IMO, is to take away her opportunity to do so. She can't criticize what you don't tell her about.

[bigsweetie]

Next time she tells you you're going to hell say "I'll see ya there!!"

[navybaby1113]

No, she's not paying for the wedding at all. She actually keeps saying how bad of parents my mom and my fiance's mom are because they aren't helping us at all.

[cundiff2001]

I would tell her that untill she writes the checks to keep her mouth shut. Or have your mother/father (whoever is her child) tell her. Happy wedding!

[summermay]

It's your wedding and your day. Do what makes you happy. You can't please everyone. I'm sorry she is making you feel bad. You would think she would know better. Congrats!

oh and at my daughter's wedding I bought 2 kegs of beer. When it was gone it was gone. The wedding party had up to a $50 limit at the bar. It came to about 1 drink each. If anyone wanted something else it was a cash bar. If you have a bar just know if it's open and no limit or max it could be VERY expensive.

[meems]

Is she paying for part of the wedding? If not, there is no reason for you to share any details with her and she has NO SAY in what you do. I would not tell her anything else about what you are doing. If she asks questions be vague or tell her it's going to be a surprise or something.

Grandmother: "What type or cake are you having, it better not be chocolate, because you know I hate chocolate...blah..blah..blah."

navybaby: "Uh Huh. I'll have to think about that."

Grandmother: "What type of flowers are you having?"

navybaby: "The living type"

Remember to give her as little info as possible even if she asks you questions. It sounds like no matter what you tell her she will tear it down some how, so the best option, IMO, is to take away her opportunity to do so. She can't criticize what you don't tell her about.

I love this...

[kaykwilts]

If I were you I would not care what the grandmother thought of my dress. As long as you are happy with the dress what does it matter? You do this wedding to please you and your groom, not your family. I think it's great that your mother is supportive.