When grandparents gift.....

[Deja Vu]

O.K. here's the dilemma, my husband parents rolled in yesterday to my daughter's fifth birthday celebration gifts in hand.
Background-the usual is an enormous truck load of toys, unfortunately many of which get gifted to the needy because they always fail to ask where my children's interests lie, or because my child has one or two of the said object laying around as it is. They go for bounty rather than quality or appropriateness.
I wish they would ask.
Speaking of asking, they skipped bounty this year and bought my daughter a TRAMPOLINE.....and I am so annoyed.
Seriously, I hate these things. They are ginormous monstrosity's first of all, and in my opinion, dangerous.
Let's consider the yard, CITY LOT, with a large garden, deck, and a shed, and DANGER, lol, no more said.

So, am I wrong to be annoyed?
Shouldn't there be a discussion of some kind before you present your 5 year old grandchild with a gift of this nature?
Anyone got any good (bad) "when grandparents gift" horror stories that can make mine lame and aid me in getting over it?

[carisal]

nope, not wrong to be annoyed in my opinion. I know what you mean, because my dad always insists on buying me a)jewelry or b) plants.

I am annoyed because a) I dont wear much if any jewelry, I have enough already, I have strong likes/dislikes on style of jewelry etc, I would rather have the money than jewelry ($100 on my hand/around my neck.... or, going towards paying off my debt? I think I would like the cash please.....) and b) I KILL PLANTS quicker than anyone else possibly could. I swear..... I'd be surprised if I could keep a cactus alive for a week. I am a plant murderer. I have tried so hard in the past to keep them alive, but, I give up. and I still get plants, like all the time..... grr

[shelleyf]

Originally Posted by carisal I KILL PLANTS quicker than anyone else possibly could. I swear..... I'd be surprised if I could keep a cactus alive for a week. I am a plant murderer. I have tried so hard in the past to keep them alive, but, I give up. and I still get plants, like all the time..... grr

That is so funny. My husband tells me the same thing. Me and plants are NOT best friends. lol I have killed a cactus before and they are hard to kill I was told.

[melodyjg]

We have Grandparents that show favoritism to one over mine...I want to wring their little necks everytime they do it!!! Do they not think my kids notice!! And their blatant about it!!

[DianeScraps]

My gift situation is different, because it is my daughter birthmom that is usually buying tons of inappropriate or useless gifts, but I understand! We had one Christmas that she showed up with SIX large trashbags full of toys, candy, junk, oh and it all REEKS of cigarette smoke too. I put my foot down after that and she has a set spending limit and must get the gifts approved by me first.

If she showed up with a trampoline it would be a flat out NO!

[sbp]

I would be annoyed too. I too wouldn't want a trampoline for my kids and they definitely should have talked to you first to get your feelings about it.

Are you on good enough terms with them to suggest that they return it and either put the money into a savings account for her or even buy a savings bond?
Maybe that would help out with future birthday presents.

[TheWoman]

I would be livid and there would be no way I was keeping it. My husband's cousin recently broke his NECK on a trampoline.

I would explain to my daughter why we can't keep it. Then I would sell it or return it and let her take the money for a Toys R Us shopping spree. That might make her feel a bit better.

After a gift like this, I think you have the right to demand that they run any gifts by you BEFORE your daughter finds out what they are. If you aren't careful they will show up with a puppy next year.

[my3girlz]

I don't blame you for being annoyed. I love my parents, but they are the world's worst when it comes to gift giving. They always seem to buy my kids stuff that is not age appropriate. Case in point, for my middle DD's b-day last year my mom just had to get her this princess chair she claims my DD asked for (I don't remember that part). DD was turning 7 & could barely sit in it, so it stayed in the house & in the way for a few months & then I got rid of it

I finally decided last Christmas that I would decide what they were buying the kids, purchase it & they reimburse me. It's only possible b/c they are MY parents & it actually saves them money (so I toted that as the reason...lol). But I know how you feel. My in-laws aren't much better....not so much quanity, but stuff they don't really need or will play w/for a few minutes & then discard. Of course I can't use the same tactics on them as I do my parents.

[MommaDuck01]

Originally Posted by TheWoman I would be livid and there would be no way I was keeping it. My husband's cousin recently broke his NECK on a trampoline. I would explain to my daughter why we can't keep it. Then I would sell it or return it and let her take the money for a Toys R Us shopping spree. That might make her feel a bit better. After a gift like this, I think you have the right to demand that they run any gifts by you BEFORE your daughter finds out what they are. If you aren't careful they will show up with a puppy next year.

I agree. My father-in-law sent money for DS and suggested a 4 wheeler like my son's cousins got. This happened just after a friend's nephew about the same age as my son was killed on a 4 wheeler.

I think you have the right to refuse a gift that is a safety concern and space issue for you especially when it was not discussed prior. I would pull the in-laws and hubby aside and discuss it and then try to explain it together with the child. There may be some hurt feelings but that will mend quicker than a possible broken neck.

[daltregirl]

If you really don't want the trampoline for your kids and want a really good "out", tell them that your homeowners insurance will skyrocket with the trampoline in the yard. If you rent, tell them the landlord said no way.
I know when I bought a trampoline for my kids it was the same year the insurance company came out to redo our insurance. They informed us that our rates would increase because of the attractive nusince in the yard.

My grandparent issue is resolved now, because the kids are older and she asks what they want/need/are into. Mom used to buy both boys the same items so there would be no bickering and everything would be fair from the number of gifts to the dollar value. In itself a great concept, but my kids are 5 1/2 years apart in age. Some times the gifts were great for the older, but not so much for the younger and vice versa.