I need wedding help!! (A bit long)

[bnjv8crd]

I am getting married September 20, and we have been cutting corners everywhere we possibly could to try and be able to afford this. We were just dealt a major financial blow today in regards to the caterer. We are only allowed to use a certain caterer at the place we are having the reception. Ok, fine, we'll deal with that. Well, the caterer has the typical sit down/buffet menu, the cheapest being 12..99 a person. They also offer to-go trays that feed about 30-40 each for a lot less money, so we had asked months ago about getting some of those, and were told "no problem". With that happening we would have spent about $250 for food for 40 people. I should have known it was too good to be true. Today we find out that the caterer didn't understand what we meant, he thought we were taking it somewhere else. Hello?? He knew the date of the wedding and where it was! Anyway, he said we could have those trays, but the won't be hot and he won't provide anyway to keep them hot, and we are not allowed to bring in anything at all with us. And it will $5 a person for plates and silverware.

We had planned this down to the penny, and now that we have this added expense, we have to cancel the DJ. It sucks. Neither one of us are happy about it, but we don't see any other way to do it. My fiance has huge DJ speakers, a laptop, and every song ever recorded, so he can put together a play list and set this up at the wedding. My concern is how it's going to look to other people. I know it shouldn't be, but it is. Has anyone else done the music themselves, or been to a wedding where somebody did. Any comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated!!

[Crystalbug]

I'm an oddball, I guess. I've been married twice and didn't have music at either. LOL

I have been to several weddings where they did their own music and they were all lovely. :)

[Pukaboo]

My DS, DB and I all burned our own wedding music - and no one cared. We went cheap on everything - down to my $47 dress. Have a wonderful day - the point is you're tying the knot with your best friend. We had rain, a power outage, the caterer cut into my cake before we did, the preacher had Alzheimer's.... But you know what? Six years later, we still have people telling us it was the best wedding they ever went to, because we had fun.

[bnjv8crd]

I wouldn't normally even think about the music, but it was/is a big deal to my fiance. Not only that but the DJ is his friend/former boss, so that also makes it awkward to cancel, especially since he already gave us a discount on the price. (It amazes me how much DJ's charge!) I know the the most important part is that we are doing this with our friends and family present, it just gets frustrating when thing don't go quite how I plan. : )

[Doreen]

Once upon a time ago....13 years.

We had Kenny Rogers Roaster (out of business restaurant) cater our wedding dinner. They delivered it, set it up, brought the plates and forks. Probably, they are since out of business, but instead of a pricey caterer....possibly someone like Boston Market could cater it for you?

The grocery store around the corner delivered out cake and fountain, and then they picked up the fountain at the end of the day.

We kind of had a wedding on a shoe string budget. We wanted to spend more on our honeymoon than on our wedding though.

Dunno?

Just a suggestion. Shutting up now ;)

[purplefdu]

Her venue (like many) has to be catered by a certain vendor. Its common and commonly a hassle for those on a budget.

Did you sign a contract that stated what you would be getting and put down the deposit (since its next month)? Because that would be the bargaining chip in my opinion. You asked for to-go platters, only and they said sure. Its up to them to catch that they don't offer just those (because its not enough profit for their greedy maw) and give you the minimum for ordering.

As for the DJ, just be honest. Planning a wedding (or any event) on a budget is a big pain in the butt. DJs are very expensive. Just because he gave you a discount doesn't mean he cannot be canceled like any full priced DJ. Unless you begged for the discount the guilt is unnecessary.

I did event planning and DJing in college (we had awesome parties, lol) and can see all the hassles. I've never liked venues who controlled the vendors allowed (my college was one of them). Even if they do allow outside sometimes you have to pay just for that ability.

What are you offering for beverages? Alcohol costs can often be cut down if you're purchasing your own bottles, not the caterer.

Most people aren't going to remember the food or the music. They will remember the ceremony, the cake, the dress/flowers and the other guests.

[cupcakegirl27]

You could do a fake cake for the fancy wedding cake and serve sheet cakes. Trust me I'm a cake decorator. Its alot cheaper to do a fake cake than real.

[lmcconne]

Unless the tray food items are especially messy (like spaghetti), I'd set out some napkins and toothpicks and have done with it. That would at least save $5 per guest.

[Andra]

Originally Posted by Crystalbug I'm an oddball, I guess. I've been married twice and didn't have music at either. LOL I have been to several weddings where they did their own music and they were all lovely. :)

Me too, LOL. We just had a CD of my favorite classical songs playing in the background. If you can't have a DJ, it's not the end of the world. Actually I enjoyed weddings I attended without the annoying DJ's better. The DJ's almost always do something that the Bride and Groom don't like. At my cousins wedding the DJ played songs they had specifically told him NOT to play. At my friend's wedding the DJ butchered the newly-wed couples last name everytime he said it, despite being corrected several times. At another wedding I attended the DJ was cursing and using vulgar language much to the Bride's shock and embarrassment because she and her husband were not the type to swear.

Don't feel bad about skipping the DJ at all. At least you can give him a month's notice so he can find another venue to do in that time.

[ElaineHN]

What time of day is your wedding? Do you *HAVE* to have a full meal or heavy appetizer buffet?

If your wedding/reception aren't going to be right at a meal time, would you & your required caterer consider doing just a CAKE & PUNCH reception?

Around here these are pretty common, but I know in some parts of the country they aren't. But at our mid-afternoon wedding we served *JUST* a BEAUTIFUL wedding cake, a chocolate grooms cake, (non-alcholic) punch and champagne. I believe there was also a bowl of mixed nuts and one of after dinner mints, but there was absolutely NO food such as appetizers or fruit/cheese trays etc.

It wasn't late enough to be supper time and no on missed having a bigger meal. We just made sure everything looked BEAUTIFUL and elegant. ... glass plates, real forks (not plastic), champagne glasses, etc. We did go with paper napkins to match our decor instead of cloth ... but even with renting all the plates/serving pieces etc. this was less expensive than a meal or other food. Hubby and I and several members of our wedding party actually went out to dinner after the reception before leaving for our honeymoon. It was soooooooo much fun!