Newly unemployed husband rant!

[Puffalapeno]

I would have to disagree with this. It's perfectly fine to tell the kids that you're busy, ask Dad to get you a snack, but I would NEVER tell my kids that their father was unemployed. The kids didn't ask for the situation and should be put in the middle of an adult problem.

I meant SHOULDN'T be put in the middle...hehe.

[manders13]

i agree with that 100%

I would be mortified if my spouse did this to me...

I might just have to beat him up for it too!

[purplefdu]

I think a couple days of are normally warranted. I know I was so upset when I got "not called back' to my seasonal temporary job I loved and adored it was funny. I was in a funk for a week, and it still depresses me to think about it.

He's put out some applications so thats good, sit and have a talk to him about how you understand and support him, but he's got to pitch in a bit and support you as well. When I work and DH doesn't he does house chores. When he works and I don't I do. When we both work we take turns, thats just how we decided to live and respect each other. He'll get through it, but it will take time and be annoying at some spots.

[magpiedpiper]

This is a little off topic, but if he was carrying your medical insurance, you should look into Cobra. Depending on what state you live in, your insurance can end at midnight his last day of work. You have 60 days to sign up for Cobra, but it can be expensive. If you can't afford it, look into other options, especially for your little boy. HTH

I actually work in Benefits as a COBRA specialist, and agree on this if he did in fact have the medical insurance. If you're worried about the cost, because boy can it be pricey if the company charges the full 102% (and most will), then WAIT the full 60 days to sign up. You don't have to send payment for another 45 days after your enrollment paperwork is received. You coverage will backdate to the day that coverage was lost.

Of course, read the paperwork they send carefully to make sure this is the case. Also, hang tight to that certificate of coverage because if he's hired on in the future with a company whose insurance carrier has a preexisting clause, they are going to want that.

Good luck vibes to your dh on getting a new job. In my work, I've seen the tension that comes from a spouse losing employment. I know it's stressful and you may have a more direct approach to it, but continue to be supportive without nagging. I've learned from my dh that just because I don't think he's concerned about something doesn't mean he isn't being consumed by it. He's just a guy, and guys worry about putting up a good front and being the tough one.

[extechy]

Please tell me you did not tell him to "man up." If so, all I'll say is ouch.

I didn't read anything after the first page so forgive me if I'm repeating here. It's only been a few days. His termination was unexpected. I don't know his line of work but in this economy, I'm sure it isn't easy to find a job in much of anything right now.

I understand you are frustrated. But he really needs you on his team right now.

[KristinesShower]

Thanks everyone for your ears. I have completely laid off him for awhile and hope it will pass. I just get worried that's all - I have to take on the house payment, his truck payment, the insurance, his snowmobile, the credit cards, the power bill, gas for both of the vehicles, the groceries, the doctor appointments for both him and my son...

I guess I was just overwhelmed a little bit and needed to vent. I feel alot better now that I've made enough this week to cover the bills for the month - it actually made me feel like everything will be ok after all!

It does, however still make me mad when he won't do the things I want him to do like pick up the toys and do the little things that make my life a little better. I am one of those nutty neat freaks that can't go to bed until the house is cleaned up and dishes are done. I get that from my mom and I can't seem to shake it no matter how hard I try!

Tomorrow is another day and I will continue to shut my trap and just be supportive until he can get himself together. He was at this job for over 8 years and it wasn't a "career" or anything he loved to go to every day. He actually hated it and didn't make a ton of money anyway - so maybe things happen for a reason and he will get a better job.

Thanks everyone for letting me vent and putting a new spin on things for me to think about.