My sister gave away 2 items from my stock pile...

[adiablue]

My sister moved her husband and two kids in late last yr. Since they moved in the bills have gone way up. They contibute NOTHING to the household bills. My one-month old stockpile is helping offset the cost of them living with me and my mom. The stock pile grows considerably everyday.

My mom and I pick up a few items when we're out for a few family members on occasion.

My sister had a visitor today and she decided to pull a Kid's Colgate toothpaste and bar of Johnson's Buddies soap from my stockpile for her friend.

My sister didn't ask first and has not purchased a single item from the stockpile. (She did give me a $10 bill yesterday for making gift bags for her son's soccer team.) She said since I give away things, she should be able to also! (I do not *just* give away things away. These people give me food, clothing, etc.. and this is me repaying the favor!) The toothpaste was $1.08 and the soap was free. I charged her $1.08...she gave me a buck.

--Was I right to charge her?
--Do I have the right to be angry that she gave away something I bought for her kids' use?
I figure they're gonna need the stuff, she either won't buy it or pays top dollar because she buys per need when stuff isn't on sale, so why not stock up for the year when it's on sale??? If she gives their stuff away, I've got to dip into my savings to replace the stuff!!!

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She came into the computer/ stock pile room later tonight to get shampoo, conditioner, and a home perm. She gave me a buck and said she liked shopping this way-- I saved her $15!!! I felt kinda bad having her give me a dollar for the hair supplies at first, then I thought that I'll add it to my stockpile budget!...

[hbaqueen]

--Was I right to charge her? YES

--Do I have the right to be angry that she gave away something I bought for her kids' use? YES

I figure they're gonna need the stuff, she either won't buy it or pays top dollar because she buys per need when stuff isn't on sale, so why not stock up for the year when it's on sale??? If she gives their stuff away, I've got to dip into my savings to replace the stuff!!!
WHY are you paying for everything anyway? Is there a reason she and her husband can not work to support their children? -disabled or medical issues?
If not maybe you should stop being so nice and cut the cord and make her see what reality is.

[purplefdu]

If she isn't paying for it but using it there is nothing wrong with asking for cash. You just just as well refuse to let her use the stockpile if she isn't contributing in some way (carrying it in/organizing/cash/asking friends for coupons/etc). I bring free stuff to my parents and she gives me her Sunday coupons.

[brixtonrileightaylor]

She gave you $1 for ALL of that?? I woulda been insulted.. Sounds to me like she is taking major advantage of you and I wouldnt have felt bad taking a $1 from her I would have demanded she given me more!

[terrortoys]

Your feeling are vald, however I would maybe have a talk with her and explain to her that since they aren't contributing to the household bills that you would like to save them money buy buying things when you can get a great bargain on them rather then her buying them when they need it. See if you can't get her to pay you back what you are out to replace the items or maybe half the store value since she would have paid full price anyways.. I am just suggesting an open agreement so there is a mutual understanding and no hard feelings.
Best of luck..

[Mikki 316]

I think I'd put a large sign on the door to your storage area that says :Adiablue's Market, (along with a per item charge chart) & Unless you're putting money in the ante, you're getting nothing out!
I only say this because every family has on of "those" in it. I don't mind sharing, I do it all the time. It's when someone takes advantage and won't (I didn't say can't!) take care of themselves, that I get upset.
I'm with the PP- give her a big dose of reality!

[Clipper]

She said since I give away things, she should be able to also!

Ugh, the difference is that it is YOUR property to give away. YOU worked hard to get it. YOU choose with whom you share it. She's family and that's why you help her but you're not there to support your sister AND her friends. Geez! Please don't feel bad over a buck.

[manders13]

i would be ticked... seriously mad!

I give alot of my stuff to friends and family. Not ONCE have i not had them offer to pay me. I never ever will take money for it. Its one thing to offer them to someone
its another thing to take with out asking. ahh i would kill someone

[susuzpandamonium]

Is your sister the baby in the family? I just ask because my sister is that way also, whatever I have (I am the oldest) she thinks is hers just because she wants it. I think it is time to sit down and have a heart to heart with sister, and tell her how the cow ate the cabbage!
You are being WAY to nice to her and you are really not helping her in the long run. I agree with the other poster, it is YOUR stuff to give away, not hers. It doesn't matter that you got it for free, you work hard to make the deals and get the coupons and it is still worth what it would cost to replace it.
And I agree with the other poster, if my sister gave me a buck for all of that stuff I would have been PO'd. She is taking advantage of you. She is living with you and your mom, not working or helping to pay the food bills, her kids are playing soccer and you are making the gift bags for her son's team.

A talk with her is in order. If it is your house then she should be kicking in on expenses or at least helping out. It is always harder to talk to a family member, but just remember to stay calm, use words that let her know how her actions make you feel and that you could use some financial help. (And not a dollar here and there...) Good luck and just say NO! LOL

[adiablue]

WHY are you paying for everything anyway? Is there a reason she and her husband can not work to support their children? -disabled or medical issues?

--He has a good job, but they also have a mountain of bills. They also *claim* to not have any extra money...