Kids Say the Darndest Things!

[sharimomo5]

we were all in the car and my husband likes to play (would you rather" with the kids...stuff like...would you rather have a trail of paprika follow you anywhere you go OR would you rather have eye brows that constantly move around your face like catapillars...silly stuff..you get the idea. Well, my ds (7) was sitting in the back seat, with huddy and I up front...I was driving. It was my son's turn he started off, "would you rather have someone kick you in the a$$..." My husband giggled like the pilsbury dough boy and I stopped my son. "What did you say?" He repeated himself, clearly with no understanding of what he was saying. So, I asked him if he was aware of what he was saying. He said, "yeah mom...a$$ is a word the kids use at school...it means tush, mom" K...that did it. My husband starts giggling like a twelve year old school girl. He's got his hand over his mouth, his shoulders are bouncing up and down and tears are streaming down his face. My son is completely lost, here. He thinks I'm old and I've just never heard the word *sigh*. So...I was trying not to lose it when I said, "I KNOW what it means, son (husband is stifling major ga-faws)...do you know that's not an appropriate term for that?" My son was suprised and said" OHHHH...sorry mom. Okay, dad, would you rather have somebody kick you really hard in your ball$....." at this point, my husband finally lost it.

[Colinsgrandma]

My cousin has a foster child that's four. When the social worker came to help her make a life book she asked her what her favorite food was, what her favorite color was, etc. finally she asked her what her favorite treat was....the little girl didn't answer so she asked her again. The little girl frowned at her and said "I'm not a dog."

[kandpsmom]

Originally Posted by sharimomo5 we were all in the car and my husband likes to play (would you rather" with the kids...stuff like...would you rather have a trail of paprika follow you anywhere you go OR would you rather have eye brows that constantly move around your face like catapillars...silly stuff..you get the idea. Well, my ds (7) was sitting in the back seat, with huddy and I up front...I was driving. It was my son's turn he started off, "would you rather have someone kick you in the a$$..." My husband giggled like the pilsbury dough boy and I stopped my son. "What did you say?" He repeated himself, clearly with no understanding of what he was saying. So, I asked him if he was aware of what he was saying. He said, "yeah mom...a$$ is a word the kids use at school...it means tush, mom" K...that did it. My husband starts giggling like a twelve year old school girl. He's got his hand over his mouth, his shoulders are bouncing up and down and tears are streaming down his face. My son is completely lost, here. He thinks I'm old and I've just never heard the word *sigh*. So...I was trying not to lose it when I said, "I KNOW what it means, son (husband is stifling major ga-faws)...do you know that's not an appropriate term for that?" My son was suprised and said" OHHHH...sorry mom. Okay, dad, would you rather have somebody kick you really hard in your ball$....." at this point, my husband finally lost it.

thanks for making me laugh today! I know it's not funny but at the same time it is.

[kandpsmom]

My 8yo dd has a bad habit of repeating. A few weeks ago we were at DQ and she announced that she had to 'take a leak' I was so embarrassed. My husband however still thinks it's hilarious.

[QponClippinQueen]

I have a few that I have to share...

A week ago DS6 and I are at walmart he loves those bakagun toys and he always wants one. So here's the conversation.

Son:(holding the toy) I know you wont get this for me..
Me: Your right, you don't need anymore of them.
Son: I'll make a bet with you.
Me: what?
Son: If I can get it free after ECB or with a coupon I can have it?
Me: If you can pull that off then sure we'll get it.
Son: Good! ( pulls out an expired coupon with his writing on it saying Bakugan)

Yes I got it for him...

DS and I again at Publix getting food and I was looking over the ad and pointed to something that said was on sale (looked more expensive to me) and said that is so not a good deal, not even with coupons. A few minutes later he sees a man buying the gatorade and runs over to him and tells him he can't buy it cause his mom says that its not a good deal not even with coupons. (the guy put it back Lol)

Ds loves to burp but we have it down to a science he can do it at home all he wants but must be careful where he does it when were out. He's great with this until recently when he burped super loud in mcdonalds. I said I thought I told you only at home. He says to me so serious mom our planet is earth and it is our "home". Again he was right

My brother who is 24 now stayed a weekend with me at my grandparents house when he was like 2. My grandma went to work and left pop with us. Well it smelled like poop and pop says to my bro did you sh*t yourself. My brother says no.. A little while later pop checks his pants to be sure and says I thought you said no, my bro says I thought you meant today. LOL...

Ok Last one. My niece was at grandmas house and playing in the yard while my grandma (65) watches her. My niece all of a sudden walks up to my grandma looking all sweet and innocent and throws a lizard at her. My grandma got so scared she yelled. I run out and ask what happened she tells me and says Emmy made my p*ss myself. Later that day when her parents got there she told them the story and kept saying she p*ssed her self she p*ssed herself

[bstout1980]

The other day me and my daughter were making a cake. She said this is like when me and dad made aint's your mama pancakes. ??? I couldn't help but laugh ain't your mama?? Finally realized she meant Aunt Jamima! I laughed so hard, we both did.

[kval07]

Originally Posted by kandpsmom My 8yo dd has a bad habit of repeating. A few weeks ago we were at DQ and she announced that she had to 'take a leak' I was so embarrassed. My husband however still thinks it's hilarious.

Okay, this had me laughing out loud! Good one.

Originally Posted by QponClippinQueen I have a few that I have to share... A week ago DS6 and I are at walmart he loves those bakagun toys and he always wants one. So here's the conversation. Son:(holding the toy) I know you wont get this for me.. Me: Your right, you don't need anymore of them. Son: I'll make a bet with you. Me: what? Son: If I can get it free after ECB or with a coupon I can have it? Me: If you can pull that off then sure we'll get it. Son: Good! ( pulls out an expired coupon with his writing on it saying Bakugan) Yes I got it for him...

Ooh, you have sneaky one on your hands!!

[janatberry]

My grand daughter loves to play like we are shopping when she comes to visit. She always has to be the cashier. She knows that I use coupons, because when I have with me we are always stopping and getting bogo, or frees at different places and of course I tell her I have to get my coupons to use before we go in. We were playing like I was at her store shopping, so when I handed her my coupons( we always use the extras I have to play with)I said I have coupons for this, this and etc..... All of a sudden she stops and picks up all the coupons and says" Mam, I'm sorry but all these coupons are exhausted," you can't use them here! Do you want these things or are going to put them back? I started laughing so hard I had to go into the other room for a minute . It was so cute and funny the way she said it. I know she had heard me talking about expired coupons before. She always ask me if I have to stop and use my coupons when we go to town. Now I know she's listening to everything. She's 5 years old and started to Kindgarden this year.

[Cynthiabutterfly]

My DS (2 1/2) stays home with DH (he works at home and I have an office job)

I was reading a picture book with DS that had barnyard animals and their mothers. I was pointing to the babies and saying, 'this is the baby, and this is his mommy'

DS tells me with a sad voice, 'He's sad. He wants his daddy'

I turn the page, and another animal and his mommy.

DS tells me (like I am really clueless) 'No, that's his daddy. He wants his daddy'

LOL.... he has always stayed home with his dad so a baby staying with his mommy? You must be from Mars.....

[ladywaterwind]

My DD, 3, comes running up to me that there's a ladybug in the kitchen. So I walk in there with her and there's the cat going after it. Cat finally catches it, and then eats it. Well, sorry, but yay! cause bugs creep me out and now I don't need to deal with it. So I say 'Good job kitty!'

DD says ' Good job kitty!!......was it delicious?'

Yeah, I died laughing.