Tough---advice help or encouragement please

[queenofthehivemomof5]

Since you posted this thread in the Credit Cards forum I am assuming (and correct me if I am wrong) that you fell off the wagon and put these expenses on your credit card(s).

Paying off debt is great but I also think you need to splurge a little once in a while. But those splurges should not be put on a credit card.

Something we do that I think really helps is have a eating out budget and we keep that money in cash. Our budget is $30 a week and once it is gone, it is gone and we have to eat at home. I make it a game to see what kind of coupons, deals, offers I can find to allow us all to have a nice dinner out without going over that budget. It is not always easy with a family of 6 at home to go out on that sort of budget. We find coupons for our fav. restaurants, know what days the kids eat for free or a buck or whatever to make it happen.

Perhaps your DH and you can come to an agreement about what is a reasonable dinning out budget and then you guys can work on sticking to it and make it a game to see how you can get the most bang for your buck.

As far as going out to celebrate the promotion, I would not go. You have to make priorities in your life and there is just no sense going into debt at the expense of someone you don't even like.

[frugalicious08]

I posted this in credit cards because I am trying to pay them off. I actually have not used my credit in months :0). However, some months I pay a lot less on them than I could because I spend money elsewhere. So even though I do not put it on the credit card to me it is still credit cards because it is keeping me in debt. I am so sick of paying those bills and I do feel like I am a slave to them because every month they come first. I cannot enjoy my extra savings or even use it as much of a cushion because all the "extra" is not "extra" because I am in debt.

Sometimes after a year of working at them it is frustrating. I get discouraged. Thanks for the kind words. DH and I talked last night and decided eating in is going to be for us tonight. I am stopping to get some mushrooms to go with dinner but thats about it. Yea! I am hoping by the end of the year to pay off the last of the cards with proposition 301 money (a yearly incentive teachers get in AZ if we meet our goals!) Then I will use my tax return if need be for anything else. Then I can start paying down my SUV (I put a lot down, and got a GREAT so it is not toooooooooo bad). I will keep on keeping on.

[Macaela25]

Paying off debt is great but I also think you need to splurge a little once in a while. But those splurges should not be put on a credit card.

Something we do that I think really helps is have a eating out budget and we keep that money in cash. Our budget is $30 a week and once it is gone, it is gone and we have to eat at home.

Great minds think alike...I was just about to post this. Decide how often you will eat out and schedule it. I keep a menu (based on my stockpile of course ), and if I know that we are going out to eat in a few days I am more motivated to stick to the plan.

As for unplanned expenditures, do your best to budget for them in advance and pay for things in cash.

[lovemygirls]

I know just how you feel. I go and buy something sometimes then feel guilty about it. We have also been trying to get our debt down. My husband is in the construction business and winter is a terrible time for us. We have used our credit cards in the past just to get us by. I have decided that we will keep trying to pay them down by paying more than the minimum due each month and not using them for any other purchases.

Eating out is a big one for us. With our two younger girls so busy with dance and sports it makes it hard to cook with a crazy schedule. I have started doing a menu and trying to do things ahead of time like chopping, slicing and things like that and it helps out alot. It also saves me money because im not just walking around the store and ending up without meals for us to eat.

Stay positive and remember what your goal is. Try not to be so tough on yourself even though I know that is hard as well.

YOU CAN DO IT

[Colinsgrandma]

I love the Bertolli oven meals. If I make a salad and get garlic bread ready for the oven ahead of time it's just like eating out. I make an oven stew that cooks all day. If I make it in the morning and clean up the mess it's as good as going out to dinner. I usually put a frozen loaf of bread dough on the counter to rise so all I have to do is bake the bread and make some instant rice and we are ready to eat. We have tried to limit our eating out to occasions instead of just grabbing a bite because we are in a hurry.

[MamaBird06]

I know how you feel, we are on one variable income (dh is in sales) and we have had a lot of ups and downs this year it is crazy. It started out with a trip to visit dh's parents out of the country, we came back in february to the worst sales month for dh since he got started in the business 3 years ago, finally got caught up on the bills by spring, then dh had wreck, and we already had a small trip planned, went on it, then dh was having neck problems, due to the wreck that got worse and worse, so dh had neck surgery in the summer and we were trying to get caught up on bills yet again and then we were, and then dh said we should bring ds to the circus last month so we did, which was a big buyers remorse, the tickets cost about 70$ for the three of us, then 10$ for parking and another 20$ for snacks and then eating out afterward, and to top it all off ds was not that interested. But aside from some of the India trip in january before we had our ah-ha moment with the debt issue, none of our other splurges have been put on a CC. Eventhrough all this drama, we have still managed to pay off 41.8% of our non-mortgage debt cc/car/student loans, pretty much since march.

While I agree splurging should be done, from your schedule i would think that a nice at home "spa" would benefit you pretty well. Use up those cheap candles and free facial/nail products and draw up a hot bath, that's what i would want at the end of the day if i was so swamped like you.

Oh, one other thing, in our house it is a given rule that we don't buy drinks at restaurants, pop or beer or wine, it's just too darn expensive, so if we want that, then we buy it at the store and drink it at home. HTH

[Dengineer]

Hang in there! Don't let one minor blowout derail your whole plan! Just get back on track and move on and don't beat yourself up too much!

Like a PP, I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's books and advice. You're already most of the way there with your determination to get out of debt.

[frugalicious08]

I am on the wagon! I am going to be doing the November stockpile challenge! DH and I had over 20k in cc debt one year ago...we paid it down to ten in August! After super frugalizing though from August to October we flung 6k of it~~WOW!!! Only 4k more to go!!! I cannot believe it! We both were moved by our church and took on second jobs! Next come the cars!

[VivaciousJewelz]

Wow, OP, I can SO relate! My mom was a notorious spender, and then later on, when we became poor, I never got enough to eat. Then, we moved in with my grandparents, and every time I needed money for lunch or school supplies, them giving me money had horrible consequences (I was abused). So, when I finally got out on my own at 18, and I had my own money (my parents died when I was young, so I got $20,000 in Social Security payments by the time I was 18), I went CRAZY. I blew through the $20K in less than 2 years, racked up a lot of credit card debt, and I still have problems controlling my spending impulses. Coupons have helped a lot, but even still I get so obsessed with what I can buy or chasing every deal, that it sometimes becomes self-defeating.

I just wanted to let you know you're not alone! (I'll be 24 next month).

[amartin82]

what kills me is there is "never anything to eat in our house...." but my freezers and cabinets are SOOOOOOOOO over loaded

Don't I know it! HOW does this happen? I have NO WHERE else in my house to put food, and yet, I go over budget getting the super cheap stuff (but it adds up) and there is NEVER anything to cook. Really, it's sad. :-P