I Brake for Shiney Hineys. . .Got TP? 02-26-10

Come feast or famine, my family will always have shiny hineys. Whenever I catch a good sale, I throw 2-4 packs of TP in my cart. My teenager cringes when this occurs because she is convinced that everyone in the store will think she has a major case of the runs. Her daddy tries to convince her that it is worse to buy one small package because someone may think she ran out of paper in the middle of a "code brown." She is not amused by his argument.

My daughter would have gone into cardiac arrest had she been with us at Harris Teeter the other night during their "Super Doubles" coupon event. They were restocking the shelves and there, in the middle of the aisle, was a cart overflowing with mega roll packages of 3-ply Northern--the filet mignon of the TP world and I had coupons!

Without hesitation, I told my husband to roll the entire cart to the self checkout. He took and double take to make sure I was serious and immediately acknowledged that our daughter would have required medical attention had she been with us.

I am sure the guy manning the self checkout station thought he was on "Candid Camera" when he saw our 20--yes 20--packages of TP. He immediately called the manager over the load speaker to "come and get a load of this." They had never seen someone buy so much TP and took my husband's picture with the cart. No doubt they wanted evidence when they talked about the deranged couple with a TP fetish the rest of the evening.

My daughter could not be more elated when she saw the loot--She had escaped the mack daddy of TP runs (no pun intended).