Family - update
Posted 02-02-2009 at 08:04:20 AM by hburmeister
UPDATE: Feb 2, 2009
so just last week i found out a few little things about my 2 oldest kids that i am now holding dear to my heart! its funny how things are passed on down through your blood. things your kids do and don't even know why or that there is something associated with what they do, what they like and many other things.
My son, Merritte, now 15, is not into sports at all! I find it interesting on a few different levels but those who knew him as a baby knew how he LOVED sports and could name all the different types of balls by the time he was 1 1/2! He used to love football and basketball too! When he was 7/8 he was playing basketball. I watched a few of his games when i could find out when they were! He was so cute! He was shy about playing, and wasn't always right in the middle of the game but liked it none the less and played and was proud of it! and so was i. Merritte really likes computers and seems to spend a lot of his time on it from what it sounds like. It's so hard to believe that he will be 16 this Aug. 31. He has his drivers permit already. its crazy. its hard not to dwell and yet to keep your hope up. i would never wish what i have gone through on my worst enemy. it's gonna take me forever to get this typed! Merritte has my skin tones and complexion apparently also. I asked if he still looked as much like his Dad and was told some but that he looks like me also! Merritte is stil a husky sort, like he used to be when he was a baby only on a taller scale :) He is a freshman in high school now, can you believe it? He still has some blonde hair, but its not near as light as it used to be. Hopefully it won't be long and I will be able to get a couple of pics of them to post here for y'all to see! That is if I can let go of them long enough to scan in!
Audrey, my first daughter, is now 13. She IS into sports! She plays basketball and is turning into a beautiful young lady. She apparently has a girl friend who she spends a lot of time with and that little girls family likes her very well. She apparently helps Audrey with things a Mom would. Things I wish I could be there for! I also found out that, Audrey, collects UNICORNS! That she has NO idea I grew up collecting them and that I have always loved them! Isn't it ironic how a young person grabs ahold of something and in a sense fantasizes over it? I mean, a unicorn is a fantasy and perhaps she fantasizes over finding her mom? Or getting to know her mom? Or perhaps she just has unicorns in her jeans passed on down by her mom? Either way, I bawled like a baby when I found out that she collects unicorns! and cry still! Audrey has blonde hair also and it is apparently a shade or so lighter than her brothers! She also has my olive skin tones and complexion like myself. They are both taller than me now from the sounds of it also! Audrey is about the same heighth as Merritte and possibly a hare taller! She is slender like she was as a baby and toddler too. Her and Grace were both little skinny minnies! From the sounds of it Audrey hasn't changed and Grace is following her footsteps. Grace however is more into football at this point, she likes The Texas Longhorns college football team! WHATS WRONG THE COWBOYS IN AN NFL LEAGUE? LOL
I still have much to learn. I am elated to find out any little piece of info that I can! I keep it close at heart. There is no other place for it anyway. I just wish i could keep a dry face while talking about them, typing about them and even thinking about them!
I found out which school they are in now and its apparently the same one that they have been in for probably the 4 or 5 years. Which is good. No. I can already here the questions. I WILL NOT go to visit them at school. Every time I did that in the past, their Dad found out and moved them from school to school to school to school! They have been in more schools as a child than necessary and YET live in the very SAME house as they have for the 13 years! I don't want my children to go through that anymore and I dont' want them to endure anymore pain because I got selfish! Don't get me wrong! I WANT TO! I want to go have lunch with them again really bad! I want to go see them and hold them in my arms again! I do! But would they let me? is that what htey would want? they are teenagers now. For nearly 7 yrs they haven't seen me. I'm a stranger now. I have some hope yet and somehow still have strength. It just hurts that I have missed out on so much! Maybe one day, I will be able to tell the whole story. For now, this is hard enough.
I have also found a long lost relationship that apparently never was lost! I'm happy to have that back too! My x's mom has not changed and still loves me! I'm just as thankful for that as I am for finding out what little bit I could regarding my 2 oldest babies! She told me "you always were my favorite daughter in law". I never knew! I always loved her too! If I ever had an ideal Mom in law, she fit the bill all the way! I apologized for ending our relationship. It wasn't something she asked for or wanted. It wasn't her choice, but mine! For many reasons but one being that I didn't want her son to be upset with her or not talk to her because we continued our relationship. I was invited into her home again. She said your welcome anytime! I will definitely be taking her up on it! However, I am taking her to lunch or dinner or whatever her choice is in just about a week! She is here in town until March and staying with her youngest daughter. I have spoke to her twice now since our too-short brief meeting in Wal-greens! I'm thankful and still teary as I think of all the wonderful long time coming conversations and visits that I deprived of us for all these years! Fear is a terrible thing! I let it stop me... Don't let it happen to you!
please keep the prayers coming, they seem to be working! Thank you for those, may the Lord bless you always! 
so just last week i found out a few little things about my 2 oldest kids that i am now holding dear to my heart! its funny how things are passed on down through your blood. things your kids do and don't even know why or that there is something associated with what they do, what they like and many other things.
My son, Merritte, now 15, is not into sports at all! I find it interesting on a few different levels but those who knew him as a baby knew how he LOVED sports and could name all the different types of balls by the time he was 1 1/2! He used to love football and basketball too! When he was 7/8 he was playing basketball. I watched a few of his games when i could find out when they were! He was so cute! He was shy about playing, and wasn't always right in the middle of the game but liked it none the less and played and was proud of it! and so was i. Merritte really likes computers and seems to spend a lot of his time on it from what it sounds like. It's so hard to believe that he will be 16 this Aug. 31. He has his drivers permit already. its crazy. its hard not to dwell and yet to keep your hope up. i would never wish what i have gone through on my worst enemy. it's gonna take me forever to get this typed! Merritte has my skin tones and complexion apparently also. I asked if he still looked as much like his Dad and was told some but that he looks like me also! Merritte is stil a husky sort, like he used to be when he was a baby only on a taller scale :) He is a freshman in high school now, can you believe it? He still has some blonde hair, but its not near as light as it used to be. Hopefully it won't be long and I will be able to get a couple of pics of them to post here for y'all to see! That is if I can let go of them long enough to scan in!
Audrey, my first daughter, is now 13. She IS into sports! She plays basketball and is turning into a beautiful young lady. She apparently has a girl friend who she spends a lot of time with and that little girls family likes her very well. She apparently helps Audrey with things a Mom would. Things I wish I could be there for! I also found out that, Audrey, collects UNICORNS! That she has NO idea I grew up collecting them and that I have always loved them! Isn't it ironic how a young person grabs ahold of something and in a sense fantasizes over it? I mean, a unicorn is a fantasy and perhaps she fantasizes over finding her mom? Or getting to know her mom? Or perhaps she just has unicorns in her jeans passed on down by her mom? Either way, I bawled like a baby when I found out that she collects unicorns! and cry still! Audrey has blonde hair also and it is apparently a shade or so lighter than her brothers! She also has my olive skin tones and complexion like myself. They are both taller than me now from the sounds of it also! Audrey is about the same heighth as Merritte and possibly a hare taller! She is slender like she was as a baby and toddler too. Her and Grace were both little skinny minnies! From the sounds of it Audrey hasn't changed and Grace is following her footsteps. Grace however is more into football at this point, she likes The Texas Longhorns college football team! WHATS WRONG THE COWBOYS IN AN NFL LEAGUE? LOL
I still have much to learn. I am elated to find out any little piece of info that I can! I keep it close at heart. There is no other place for it anyway. I just wish i could keep a dry face while talking about them, typing about them and even thinking about them!
I found out which school they are in now and its apparently the same one that they have been in for probably the 4 or 5 years. Which is good. No. I can already here the questions. I WILL NOT go to visit them at school. Every time I did that in the past, their Dad found out and moved them from school to school to school to school! They have been in more schools as a child than necessary and YET live in the very SAME house as they have for the 13 years! I don't want my children to go through that anymore and I dont' want them to endure anymore pain because I got selfish! Don't get me wrong! I WANT TO! I want to go have lunch with them again really bad! I want to go see them and hold them in my arms again! I do! But would they let me? is that what htey would want? they are teenagers now. For nearly 7 yrs they haven't seen me. I'm a stranger now. I have some hope yet and somehow still have strength. It just hurts that I have missed out on so much! Maybe one day, I will be able to tell the whole story. For now, this is hard enough.
I have also found a long lost relationship that apparently never was lost! I'm happy to have that back too! My x's mom has not changed and still loves me! I'm just as thankful for that as I am for finding out what little bit I could regarding my 2 oldest babies! She told me "you always were my favorite daughter in law". I never knew! I always loved her too! If I ever had an ideal Mom in law, she fit the bill all the way! I apologized for ending our relationship. It wasn't something she asked for or wanted. It wasn't her choice, but mine! For many reasons but one being that I didn't want her son to be upset with her or not talk to her because we continued our relationship. I was invited into her home again. She said your welcome anytime! I will definitely be taking her up on it! However, I am taking her to lunch or dinner or whatever her choice is in just about a week! She is here in town until March and staying with her youngest daughter. I have spoke to her twice now since our too-short brief meeting in Wal-greens! I'm thankful and still teary as I think of all the wonderful long time coming conversations and visits that I deprived of us for all these years! Fear is a terrible thing! I let it stop me... Don't let it happen to you!
please keep the prayers coming, they seem to be working! Thank you for those, may the Lord bless you always! 
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Congratulations on your bits!! I am so happy for you! Hopefully soon they will look for you and find out the truth!Posted 02-17-2009 at 08:16:41 PM by BELLASMOMMY0
