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View Full Version : Need to come clean!! need all the PRAYERS Possible



momzoo7
09-20-2010, 12:36:59 PM
first of all I have always wanted to be a mom, I love my kids and they are my whole life. I feel like there is so much going on and Id like to chat freely here but i first have to come clean.

On July 6th 2010 it was pouring down rain. I needed some things at wal-mart I had my 17 year old (36 days from 18), 6, 4, and 2. I took my 6 yr old in the store to go potty and my 4 and 2 year old stayed with my older son. after only 25 to 30 mins i returned to see my 4 and 2 yr old playing with the door from the inside, i got on to them and this lady started yelling at me saying how dare I leave them alone. I called out to my older son who sat up in the van he had dosed off. the lady called the police she works for DHS so she also called them. she said my kids got out of the car and almost got hit. she never saw my older child and our handle is broken so the only way back in the van was where my older son was. they would have needed help to get back in and they were inside when i came out so i don't think they ever got out. So DHS removed my kids and I realize it was dangerous but i never thought my older son would not supervise them.
my DH was at home so we were told the kids would be released to him. then the DHS lady said in her report our house was unsafe and the kids were allowed to play out in the road unsupervised. well she NEVER came out to our house and the road the speed limits 55 to 60 never ever have they been out there. then to top it all off they charged me with felony child endangerment. so last week i go to court for that. which got dropped Thank GOD but the DA after we told him DHS never came to the house he said he'd remove the condition of the house (which was a lie and he knew it) but wanted us to stipulate to letting the kids play unsupervised. NO way!! we go to great lengths to insure they stay in the house right down to double deadbolts on door.
According to our lawyer they need the unsupervised play to hold over my dh head to insure DHS involvement. So we are fighting it and go to trial nov 22nd in the meantime our kids are out of our car. we are also doing everything DHS asked for just in case we don't convince the judge. 9 times out of 10 the side with DHS.. so when we discovered we were expecting we were scared to death but DHS doesn't care and says they have no concerns regarding this one. so being pregnant and hormonal and dealing with these people. I REALISE it was a bad situation but when i left he was wide awke playing with the boys and it was raining at about 65 he had my keys.
in our county 2 of these couples got their kids removed due to drugs and had them home after 4 months. so dealing with this and pregnancy hormones i feel like all I do is cry. now they say Im depressed well wouldn't they be? it's hard to deal with this every day. I can't tell my 3 boys about the baby, i only see them under supervision of DHS and at church. this is a night mare that feels like it'll never get better..
the only way out is to do everything and more to please these people so me, DH, and my oldest go to counseling, parenting classes, we have to move into a 3 brd away from the highway. the worker who is now in charge is nice but not sure what to ask us to do.

momof2inohio
09-20-2010, 01:09:04 PM
I can't figure out why your kids would be taken away for that.... I would think that a 17 year old could be trusted to watch younger siblings for a few minutes unless he is mentally unstable. Since your son fell asleep the other kids probably got too hot in the car and got out. I don't know it all just does not make sense to me but I wish you luck in getting your kids back.

CW&M Mom
09-20-2010, 01:28:30 PM
In reality...they should of charged your son and not you.........he was 17..........I see no where, where that age would excuse him out of neglecting his siblings who he had been left with.

Good grief I was babysitting my cousins (as in at there house by myself) by age 11.

434Teresa
09-20-2010, 01:33:27 PM
I know this is hard but it will all work out.

I see little ones 5,6,or so in cars here alone sometimes but at that age I would not do it.. I dont see anything wrong with leaving them in the car with a older child so it should have been fine that your 17 year old was in there with them. Sorry he fell alseep but teens do that stuff sometimes when something is not at the upmost importance to them.
I hope the DSH worker dose a home visit(unlike what the last one did) and finds that everything is fine there and that you dont live near the road any longer. Kids that age love the outside and will sneak out if they can but that dont mean that you are not watching them, you have to go to the bathroom sometimes and that all the time they need to get into stuff..LOL

One day I was loading my stuff into my van after putting my twins(3) in the van to buckle themself up, I had turned the van on so the air was blowing but it was still hot in there so I left the door open. I looked up from unloading the cart into the van and Alex ws running down the lane. I went to yelling like a crazy women, he then truned and startd back to me, my heart was in my shoe for I just knew that someone was going to back out not seeing him there. Needless to say he wont ever do that again
Like you it never crossed my mind that he would get out of the van with me 2 feet away from the door but he did. So I am sure you did not think your two would get out of the van with your older son in there.

I hope things get better for you and your kids soon and good luck on a girl with the one you are having now..

I dont see how they could put you threw all this just for that, I guess they dont have any other childern that is really in danger to look after right now and need to be busy..

momzoo7
09-20-2010, 05:51:25 PM
I can't figure out why your kids would be taken away for that.... I would think that a 17 year old could be trusted to watch younger siblings for a few minutes unless he is mentally unstable. Since your son fell asleep the other kids probably got too hot in the car and got out. I don't know it all just does not make sense to me but I wish you luck in getting your kids back.


i don't think the kids ever got out the handle is broken and her story doesn't add up. Josh isn't mentqal unstable and in the past has been very good and helpful with the kids. normally i'd have draged everyone in but i was not going to be long , it was raining and cool. now i wish i had draged them all in.

momzoo7
09-20-2010, 05:54:48 PM
In reality...they should of charged your son and not you.........he was 17..........I see no where, where that age would excuse him out of neglecting his siblings who he had been left with.

Good grief I was babysitting my cousins (as in at there house by myself) by age 11.


according to state law it says you can leave chidren under 6 with a 12 year old. now i wouldn't do that but he was days from being 18. when i was his age i had a child and lived alone.

momzoo7
09-20-2010, 05:59:57 PM
I know this is hard but it will all work out.

I see little ones 5,6,or so in cars here alone sometimes but at that age I would not do it.. I dont see anything wrong with leaving them in the car with a older child so it should have been fine that your 17 year old was in there with them. Sorry he fell alseep but teens do that stuff sometimes when something is not at the upmost importance to them.
I hope the DSH worker dose a home visit(unlike what the last one did) and finds that everything is fine there and that you dont live near the road any longer. Kids that age love the outside and will sneak out if they can but that dont mean that you are not watching them, you have to go to the bathroom sometimes and that all the time they need to get into stuff..LOL

One day I was loading my stuff into my van after putting my twins(3) in the van to buckle themself up, I had turned the van on so the air was blowing but it was still hot in there so I left the door open. I looked up from unloading the cart into the van and Alex ws running down the lane. I went to yelling like a crazy women, he then truned and startd back to me, my heart was in my shoe for I just knew that someone was going to back out not seeing him there. Needless to say he wont ever do that again
Like you it never crossed my mind that he would get out of the van with me 2 feet away from the door but he did. So I am sure you did not think your two would get out of the van with your older son in there.

I hope things get better for you and your kids soon and good luck on a girl with the one you are having now..

I dont see how they could put you threw all this just for that, I guess they dont have any other childern that is really in danger to look after right now and need to be busy..


well 2 days before this a 6 year old wondered off from a lake BBQ and drowned, sometimes after siturations like that DHS gets overactive, but little kids are fast and have no since of danger.i totally get how critical this was. at the time i felt i was leaving them in good hands.

jennspen
09-20-2010, 06:30:19 PM
I agree with a PP that there has to be something else added to the situation. I'm a public health social worker but I review cases for DHS occassionaly. Have you had previous run ins with DHS? Have you ask to see the case workers notes? You have a right to that information. You said you had an attorney, I am sure he could ask to see the records if needed. If you are serious about getting your kids back (which sounds like you are) then you need to fully cooperate with your case worker in order to prove to DHS and the judge that you are a capable parent and willing to take whatever steps necessary to protect and best parent your children. I have never seen a child taken from custody on one incidence like this especially if an older child was with them. I really hope things work out for you and your family. I will say a prayer for you.

momzoo7
09-20-2010, 07:36:44 PM
I agree with a PP that there has to be something else added to the situation. I'm a public health social worker but I review cases for DHS occassionaly. Have you had previous run ins with DHS? Have you ask to see the case workers notes? You have a right to that information. You said you had an attorney, I am sure he could ask to see the records if needed. If you are serious about getting your kids back (which sounds like you are) then you need to fully cooperate with your case worker in order to prove to DHS and the judge that you are a capable parent and willing to take whatever steps necessary to protect and best parent your children. I have never seen a child taken from custody on one incidence like this especially if an older child was with them. I really hope things work out for you and your family. I will say a prayer for you.

In mo my 19 year old who is autistic and bi-polar, He had big issues and when he was little people saw him and not understanding his behave would hotline it. but we always had specialist involved and in 2007 he went to live with his dad where he could get one on one attenion

my 4 and 6 year old have delays in speach and the school felt due to my 19 yr old being autistic they maybe. i took them to a doctor who agreed they needed further testing but do to some of the same symtoms can be caused by abuse they asked for an investigation, our reg doctor stressed to DHS their were no concerns but to be safe ordered full body x-rays which showed nothing and it was droped. jan 6, 2010 a neighbor called in saying we had no heat or power due to our pipes froze they came out saw we had heat and power and untill july 6th nothing. due to DH was laid off we both went to job training and kids went to daycare no problems. untill the july 6th. they took the kids that night the next day me and DH met with the worker she said she felt i am FAT and LAZY and make my son do all the work. true i am over weight but my son doesn't do everything and yet she didn't care and she never came to see our house or ask the kids what they wanted. everything is just how i stated it. I now have a lawyer and are fighting it , doing classes and counseling but it all takes time. time i'll never get back. memories i'm missing.

naless
09-20-2010, 08:21:57 PM
Does the store have video of the parking lot. This can be easily remedied by viewing the tape and seeing what actually happened instead of what someone says. I can't believe that just the word of one person can have the children taken away. I would understand starting an investigation but not taking the children away. Were they taken right from the store?

rbunnymom
09-20-2010, 08:35:06 PM
I am so sorry this has happened to you. To get your kids back you will need to cooperate fully. Good luck.

Also, be aware that anything you post here can be accessed by anyone and used against you. So be careful what you write on the internet.

momzoo7
09-20-2010, 08:52:32 PM
Does the store have video of the parking lot. This can be easily remedied by viewing the tape and seeing what actually happened instead of what someone says. I can't believe that just the word of one person can have the children taken away. I would understand starting an investigation but not taking the children away. Were they taken right from the store?


yes right from the store the lady was a DHS worker from another county.

rbunnymom
09-21-2010, 12:50:42 PM
Checking the video is a good idea. Maybe it will help when you go to court.

The system is very defective(best word I can think of). Folks think that you must have done something wrong when in reality it can just be a worker gone bad here. It then snowballs into something it should not be. I wish you much luck. I hope you are able to show the courts that you can parent your children and get them back home soon.

kimandkathess
09-22-2010, 06:44:34 PM
I just can't beleive they are doing this to you! The system out here though is the same way. I have a friend who is going through crap to get here kids back and at the same time a known female drug dealer has her kids.
I just think its insane that they make you move! What you couldnt afford to do that? I just think this DHS lady is out of control.

434Teresa
09-22-2010, 06:56:04 PM
Some of these DSH workers have gone crazy. Some of them dont live in the real world when it comes to living and careing for kids. I know one here that has kids that are out of control but she thinks that everyone else should have kids that walk the line and have a spotless home. She wrote a bad report on one person I know because her kicthen cabnets were not perfect(we know how hard that is to keep done),the Tp was on the floor and not on a holder, and a pan with bacon grease was in the oven....this women has 3 kids and works full time, no hubby. The x called them for she let one of them get hurt, LOL he got hit with a baseball in the face while playing a game.

CW&M Mom
09-22-2010, 07:11:53 PM
Some of these DSH workers have gone crazy. Some of them dont live in the real world when it comes to living and careing for kids. I know one here that has kids that are out of control but she thinks that everyone else should have kids that walk the line and have a spotless home. She wrote a bad report on one person I know because her kicthen cabnets were not perfect(we know how hard that is to keep done),the Tp was on the floor and not on a holder, and a pan with bacon grease was in the oven....this women has 3 kids and works full time, no hubby. The x called them for she let one of them get hurt, LOL he got hit with a baseball in the face while playing a game.I had WIC report me to CPS because I laughed at my son at our appointment.........seriously.

I was 9 months pregnant he was beyond biserk because he didn't want to be there (it was his 5th appointment that week and he was sick of being poked and prodded)...and basically wanted to hang out in the parking lot.

meanie mom...I wouldn't let him and basically had to drag him into the office, (hubby had the stroller :rolleyes24:) so huge, drag 2 year old in, carrying oxygen, carrying diaper bag, carrying purse...I did it with a smile on my face and never lost my temper.

but he was so pissed he started crawling back for the door. Mind you he was still hooked to the oxygen...so he dragged it via the cannula with his face (and that sucker was at least 15lbs) behind him...making his way for the parking lot.

I laughed

not the first time he had done that...and I laughed each time...it was HILARIOUS to watch him.

Had to do a whole investigation :rolleyes24:...seriously they called me..."it has been reported that you laughed at your child on oxygen"...me smart a$$ "YUP".

I guess your not allowed to laugh at your kid when they are on oxygen :rolleyes24:.

Whole thing was absurd...and within a month it was over...but it amazes me the idiocy of some people....there shouldn't of been an investigation. A report of "this lady laughed at her child" isn't child abuse...AT ALL.

imhzgrlnotu
09-23-2010, 04:13:42 PM
ive had issues with them too, it seems like they try to mess with people who dont deserve it just so they have something to do (but not as much as if they were to actually take the kids away from someone who needed it). last year my daughters school called them because i wasnt "taking care of her medical needs"...and by that they meant that i didnt get her glasses to correct a vision problem that is permanent and CANT be corrected by glasses lol. they wanted me to do a whole list of things including monthly eye dr appts (which she didnt need), and parenting classes to learn how to take care of her "when she eventually lost her vision totally" (which will not happen btw). i fought them about it, told them i would not do all that unnecessary crap, they took me to court and the judge agreed it was crap and only made me take her to one appt so he could see current info about her eye condition.

so basically...if you know youre right...dont let them bully you!